> #1 - The Internet is integral to modern life: education, communication, > collaboration, business, entertainment and society.
The current manifesto has "The Internet is an integral part of modern life—a key component in education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society as a whole." I think "a key component in" makes it much clearer. Without that, the list feels tacked on, and it reads as if the list is defining "modern life". Also, "society" doesn't quite fit with the others; it encompasses them. In contrast "society as a whole" communicates that. The best I can come up with that preserves those parts is "The Internet is integral to modern life-a key part of education, communication, collaboration, business, entertainment and society as a whole." which is 142 chars :( Nick _______________________________________________ governance mailing list [email protected] https://lists.mozilla.org/listinfo/governance
