On 9/23/13 6:51 PM, Stacy Martin wrote:
Hi all - Thank you for all the feedback. I've consolidated it into the following revised
recommendations. I think we are pretty close on agreement for 1-8. I tried to stay with
the originals when we could, thus I did not change #8 to add "the Internet"
because I felt it still made sense as a standalone without it. Let me know if you
strongly disagree, or if you strongly prefer an alternative for #'s 9 and 10, where we
had several alternate suggestions.
#1 - The Internet is integral to modern life: education, communication,
collaboration, business, entertainment and society.
#2 - original - The Internet is a global public resource that must remain open
and accessible.
#3 - original - The Internet should enrich the lives of individual human beings.
#4 - Security and privacy on the Internet are fundamental and must not be
treated as optional.
#5 - Individuals must have the ability to shape the Internet and their own
experiences on it.
#6 - As a public resource, the Internet depends on interoperability, innovation
and decentralized participation worldwide.
#7 - original - Free and open source software promotes the development of the
Internet as a public resource.
#8 - original - Transparent community-based processes promote participation,
accountability, and trust.
#9 - A balance between commercial profit and public benefit is critical to the
development of the Internet.
#10 - original - Magnifying the public benefit aspects of the Internet is an
important goal, worthy of time, attention and commitment.
There should be consistency of whether to use the Oxford comma: 8 uses
it; 1, 6, and 10 do not. (Personally, I'm in favor of using it.)
Speaking of commas, I think number 10 might benefit from the removal of
the first comma, so that it is clear that "worthy" is coordinated with
"goal" rather than "is".
As far as substance, I too support the removal of "aspects" from number
10. I also think number 9 might benefit from replacing "profit" with
"interests" or something similar, particularly in light of number 10.
--
Gordon P. Hemsley
http://gphemsley.org/
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