Dear friends,
If any two members other than Mr. APS Mani agrees to the negative writings on
me by Mr. Rajaram , I am ready to accept the negative comments on me and try to
improve myself.
I feel Mr. Rajaram has to improve a lot other than blaming others and abusing
though a former IRS officer. I am sorry to state he is least civilized, when a
person comment or correct him, start abusing . Members may please understand.
One can read the unwarranted comments wrote about me without any prompting in
this posting. One can understand the laggings of language- construction,
spelling, presentation etc. etc.
If I pointed out these laggings of the former IRS officer, with out admission,
he will abuse in very bad words.
Mr. Narayanaswamy is not appearing in the forum for the last few months. If he
appeared, each and every posting (copy and paste ) must been criticized.
Gopalakrishnan R (Former ITS 7024)
On Saturday 16 August, 2025 at 03:22:17 pm IST, Rajaram Krishnamurthy
<[email protected]> wrote:
Welcome
On Sat, 16 Aug 2025, 15:04 APS Mani, <[email protected]> wrote:
Excellent tributes and advice. Thanks,
On Sat, Aug 16, 2025 at 2:53 PM Rajaram Krishnamurthy <[email protected]>
wrote:
Senility thy name is Gopalakrishnan
Just I wroteit and found a joker in the group who is 80 plus and sickly
mentally. The Jokerhas no stuff and leads a falsified life and now somehow
wants to project thathe is a LEARNED. Nothing wrong if one desires; but
merit-lacking desire isdangerous. So many wrote to him; wrote about him; but
keeps a few bad ticksunder whose warmth assumed a learned pose. But trith is
bitter as he is exposedso many times about his contents, subject, plagiarism
totality and thefox-traits. But he never changed even at this age. When at
80plus one writes anLKG student what do we name him as(s)? His foul language
made all pages in thegroup stink. Why a senior in age refuse to control himself
and behave so sternand senile? WHAT DOES THE PSYCHOLOGY STATE?
1 They’re inpain from various ailments, and this reduces their energy
levels and makes themtired and irritable.
2 The world they grew up in and which feltfamiliar to them has faded, and
they dislike or feel no place in a differentpopular culture.
3 They feel cheated by life, that they workedand sacrificed but did not
receive the rewards or comforts they expected.
4 They feeldisrespected or unwanted by younger people, and their advice and
opinions havebeen ignored.
5 They were bitterand rude jerks when they were young, and now just have
more leisure time toexpress it.
6 LifeExperience: Older adults have lived through many challenges, losses,
anddisappointments. These experiences can lead to a hardened outlook on
life,making them appear bitter or cynical.
7 Health Issues:Physical ailments, chronic pain, or mental health challenges
such as depressionor anxiety can influence mood and behavior, potentially
making someone moreirritable or withdrawn.
8 SocialIsolation: Many older adults experience loneliness or isolation,
especially ifthey have lost friends or family. This can lead to frustration and
bitterness,affecting their interactions with others.
9 GenerationalDifferences: Cultural and societal changes can create a
disconnect betweenolder and younger generations. Some older people may feel
misunderstood ordisrespected by younger individuals, leading to rudeness.
10 CopingMechanisms: Some individuals may develop defensive behaviors to
cope with theirvulnerabilities, leading to perceived bitterness or rudeness.
How to Deal With Aging Parents’Difficult Behaviors
In some cases, this is the way some seniors have alwaysacted. However, new
behaviors and personality changes can also indicate seriousdevelopments in an
elder’s health, such as progressing dementia, depression ora urinary tract
infection (UTI).
10 Elderly Behavior Problems and How to Handle Them
We’ve compiled ten “bad” behaviors that older adultscommonly exhibit, some of
the potential mental and physical causes, and tipsfor coping with them.
Elderly Anger, Hostility and Outbursts
Age and illness can intensify longstanding personalitytraits in some unpleasant
ways. For example, an irritable person may frequentlybecome enraged, or an
impatient person may become demanding and impossible toplease. Unfortunately,
an angry elder’s main target is often their primarycaregiver.
How to Deal With Anger in the Elderly
Try to identify the root cause of their anger. The agingprocess is not easy. It
can spark resentment in seniors who are living withchronic pain, losing
friends, experiencing memory issues, and all the otherundignified things that
come with getting older.
Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia can alsocause these behaviors.
With dementia, it is important to remember that thepatient doesn’t have full
control over their words or actions. As a caregiver,the best thing you can do
is not take it personally. Focus on the positive,ignore the negative and take a
break from caregiving as often as you can byfinding respite care. Get some
fresh air, do something you love or call afriend to vent.
Elders often reserve their worst behavior for those theyare closest to, like
family members. In this case, it may be beneficial to hirein-home care or
consider adult day care. Mean, angry behaviors might notsurface in front of
strangers, and you’ll get a much-needed break while othersare meeting your
loved one’s care needs.
How to Deal With an Elder’s Abusive Behavior
Try explaining how their behavior makes you feel. However,many caregivers don’t
get very far by talking. If the abuse is verbal oremotional, help them realize
how much you do for them by stepping back for awhile. If your loved one
requires supervision and assistance to ensure theirsafety, then bring in
outside help to take over your duties. Removing yourselffrom the situation may
drive home the point that abusive behavior will not betolerated. Your loved one
might come away from the experience with renewedappreciation for what you do.
In the meantime, you’ll get some valuablerespite.
If physical abuse is the issue, then seek professionalhelp. This may consist of
a phone call to the police or adult protectiveservices (APS), attending
counselling, or permanently handing over your lovedone’s care to a
court-appointed guardian, professional caregivers or along-term care facility.
Declining senses of sight and smell may be contributing tothe problem as well.
Our senses dull as we age, so seniors may not detect theirown body odor or see
how soiled their clothes are. If memory issues areinvolved, they may lose track
of time and not even realize how long it’s beensince they last bathed. Lastly,
fear and discomfort can play a huge role intheir resistance. Many older
individuals develop a fear of falling and slippingin the tub, and they are
often too embarrassed to ask for help.
Coping With Verbally Aggressive Behavior in the Elderly
When this behavior is out of character for an elder andgradually gets worse,
the start of Alzheimer’s disease or another form ofdementia is a likely cause.
If the onset is quite sudden, a urinary tractinfection is another common
culprit. UTIs present very differently in seniorsthan in younger individuals,
and symptoms often include behavioral changes likeagitation.
But if dementia is not an issue and a senior is just plaincrass, how do you
deal with swearing and rudeness? You can try to set firmground rules for them.
Make it perfectly clear that you will not tolerate suchlanguage, especially in
public settings. A little bit of guilt may be effectivein getting them to
realize that their behavior is unacceptable and offensive toother people. Try
something like, “Dad, if Mom were here right now, she wouldbe appalled by your
language,” or, “You would never want your grandchildren tohear you speaking
like that, would you?”
When a swearing tirade sets in, another technique is to usedistraction. The
outburst may end once they’re focused on something else,especially for dementia
patients. Try bringing up happy times from the olddays. Elders love to
reminisce, and prompting them to change the subject andtap into their long-term
memory will likely cause them to forget about whateverit is that set them off
in the first place. If none of these suggestions works,your best bet is to
learn not to take this behavior personally. When a seniorbecomes hostile, back
off, disappear for a little while and wait for it to blowover.
Paranoia, Delusionsand Hallucinations
Paranoia and hallucinations in the elderly can take manyforms. Seniors may make
false accusations of theft or abuse, see people andthings that aren’t there, or
believe someone is trying to harm them. Thesebehaviors can be especially
difficult for caregivers to witness and try toremedy.
How to Handle MentalHealth Issues in the Elderly
Hallucinations and delusions in elders are serious warningsigns of a physical
or mental problem. Keep track of what your loved one isexperiencing and when so
you can discuss it with their doctor as soon aspossible. This behavior could be
explained by something as simple as a sideeffect of a new medication they are
taking, dehydration or a UTI.
Oftentimes, paranoia and hallucinations are associated withdementia. When this
is the case, caregiving experts seem to agree that the bestthing to do is go
with the flow. Do not try to talk dementia patients out of adelusion.
Validation is a good coping technique, because what the elder isseeing, hearing
or experiencing is very real to them. Convincing them otherwiseis fruitless and
may make them more upset. Acknowledge the senior’s concernsand perception of
reality in a soothing voice. If they are scared or agitated,redirect them while
assuring that they are safe and you will help them throughthe experience.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Elders
You can try to reason with your loved one and even talkabout items to throw out
or give away. Creating a memory box or anorganizational system for keeping
“special things” may help tame the chaos.With extreme hoarders, behavioral
intervention therapies and family counselingcould make a big difference in how
you cope. In some cases, you may need helpfrom adult protective services if the
senior’s behavior has led to unsafe orunsanitary living conditions. This is
unfortunately common with stubborn elderswith dementia who cannot or will not
address their hoarding problems.
Hoarding: A Challenging and Potentially DangerousDementia-Related Behavior
Refusing to Accept Outside Caregivers
It is an important milestone when family caregivers decideto hire in-home care
for their loved ones, but this plan is often derailed whenseniors refuse to let
the new caregivers into their homes. Other elders willwelcome home health aides
in only long enough to tell them that they are fired!
Coping With Elders Refusing Care
The presence of an outsider suggests to the elderly thattheir family can’t (or
doesn’t want to) take care of them. It also magnifiesthe extent of their needs
and makes them feel vulnerable. Work to understandyour loved one’s reasons for
resisting in-home care, which could include fear,embarrassment, resentment or
some mix of the three. Talk to them about theirfeelings and work together to
find solutions that everyone can live with. Forexample, if Mom hates the
thought of letting a stranger into her home, arrangefor her to meet the
professional caregiver at the home care company’s office orat a café for coffee
first.
Theabove specimens do exist in our society, so Gopalakrishnan is
not an exemption.But his behaviors irritate society and the groups. He will
write a reply likean LKG, but GOK GOD SAVE THE GOPALAKRISHNAN
K RAJARAM IRS 16825
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