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On Sat, 16 Aug 2025, 15:04 APS Mani, <[email protected]> wrote:

> Excellent tributes and advice.  Thanks,
>
> On Sat, Aug 16, 2025 at 2:53 PM Rajaram Krishnamurthy <
> [email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Senility thy name is Gopalakrishnan
>>
>>
>>
>>        Just I wrote it and found a joker in the group who is 80 plus and
>> sickly mentally. The Joker has no stuff and leads a falsified life and now
>> somehow wants to project that he is a LEARNED. Nothing wrong if one
>> desires; but merit-lacking desire is dangerous. So many wrote to him; wrote
>> about him; but keeps a few bad ticks under whose warmth assumed a learned
>> pose. But trith is bitter as he is exposed so many times about his
>> contents, subject, plagiarism totality and the fox-traits. But he never
>> changed even at this age. When at 80plus one writes an LKG student what do
>> we name him as(s)? His foul language made all pages in the group stink. Why
>> a senior in age refuse to control himself and behave so stern and senile?
>> WHAT DOES THE PSYCHOLOGY STATE?
>>
>> 1       They’re in pain from various ailments, and this reduces their
>> energy levels and makes them tired and irritable.
>>
>> 2   The world they grew up in and which felt familiar to them has faded,
>> and they dislike or feel no place in a different popular culture.
>>
>> 3    They feel cheated by life, that they worked and sacrificed but did
>> not receive the rewards or comforts they expected.
>>
>> 4    They feel disrespected or unwanted by younger people, and their
>> advice and opinions have been ignored.
>>
>> 5    They were bitter and rude jerks when they were young, and now just
>> have more leisure time to express it.
>>
>> 6      Life Experience: Older adults have lived through many challenges,
>> losses, and disappointments. These experiences can lead to a hardened
>> outlook on life, making them appear bitter or cynical.
>>
>> 7   Health Issues: Physical ailments, chronic pain, or mental health
>> challenges such as depression or anxiety can influence mood and behavior,
>> potentially making someone more irritable or withdrawn.
>>
>> 8    Social Isolation: Many older adults experience loneliness or
>> isolation, especially if they have lost friends or family. This can lead to
>> frustration and bitterness, affecting their interactions with others.
>>
>> 9    Generational Differences: Cultural and societal changes can create a
>> disconnect between older and younger generations. Some older people may
>> feel misunderstood or disrespected by younger individuals, leading to
>> rudeness.
>>
>> 10     Coping Mechanisms: Some individuals may develop defensive
>> behaviors to cope with their vulnerabilities, leading to perceived
>> bitterness or rudeness.
>>
>>            How to Deal With Aging Parents’ Difficult Behaviors
>>
>> In some cases, this is the way some seniors have always acted. However,
>> new behaviors and personality changes can also indicate serious
>> developments in an elder’s health, such as progressing dementia, depression
>> or a urinary tract infection (UTI).
>>
>> 10 Elderly Behavior Problems and How to Handle Them
>>
>> We’ve compiled ten “bad” behaviors that older adults commonly exhibit,
>> some of the potential mental and physical causes, and tips for coping with
>> them.
>>
>> Elderly Anger, Hostility and Outbursts
>>
>> Age and illness can intensify longstanding personality traits in some
>> unpleasant ways. For example, an irritable person may frequently become
>> enraged, or an impatient person may become demanding and impossible to
>> please. Unfortunately, an angry elder’s main target is often their primary
>> caregiver.
>>
>> How to Deal With Anger in the Elderly
>>
>> Try to identify the root cause of their anger. The aging process is not
>> easy. It can spark resentment in seniors who are living with chronic pain,
>> losing friends, experiencing memory issues, and all the other undignified
>> things that come with getting older.
>>
>> Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia can also cause these
>> behaviors. With dementia, it is important to remember that the patient
>> doesn’t have full control over their words or actions. As a caregiver, the
>> best thing you can do is not take it personally. Focus on the positive,
>> ignore the negative and take a break from caregiving as often as you can by
>> finding respite care. Get some fresh air, do something you love or call a
>> friend to vent.
>>
>> Elders often reserve their worst behavior for those they are closest to,
>> like family members. In this case, it may be beneficial to hire in-home
>> care or consider adult day care. Mean, angry behaviors might not surface in
>> front of strangers, and you’ll get a much-needed break while others are
>> meeting your loved one’s care needs.
>>
>> How to Deal With an Elder’s Abusive Behavior
>>
>> Try explaining how their behavior makes you feel. However, many
>> caregivers don’t get very far by talking. If the abuse is verbal or
>> emotional, help them realize how much you do for them by stepping back for
>> a while. If your loved one requires supervision and assistance to ensure
>> their safety, then bring in outside help to take over your duties. Removing
>> yourself from the situation may drive home the point that abusive behavior
>> will not be tolerated. Your loved one might come away from the experience
>> with renewed appreciation for what you do. In the meantime, you’ll get some
>> valuable respite.
>>
>> If physical abuse is the issue, then seek professional help. This may
>> consist of a phone call to the police or adult protective services (APS),
>> attending counselling, or permanently handing over your loved one’s care to
>> a court-appointed guardian, professional caregivers or a long-term care
>> facility.
>>
>> Declining senses of sight and smell may be contributing to the problem as
>> well. Our senses dull as we age, so seniors may not detect their own body
>> odor or see how soiled their clothes are. If memory issues are involved,
>> they may lose track of time and not even realize how long it’s been since
>> they last bathed. Lastly, fear and discomfort can play a huge role in their
>> resistance. Many older individuals develop a fear of falling and slipping
>> in the tub, and they are often too embarrassed to ask for help.
>>
>> Coping With Verbally Aggressive Behavior in the Elderly
>>
>> When this behavior is out of character for an elder and gradually gets
>> worse, the start of Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia is a
>> likely cause. If the onset is quite sudden, a urinary tract infection is
>> another common culprit. UTIs present very differently in seniors than in
>> younger individuals, and symptoms often include behavioral changes like
>> agitation.
>>
>> But if dementia is not an issue and a senior is just plain crass, how do
>> you deal with swearing and rudeness? You can try to set firm ground rules
>> for them. Make it perfectly clear that you will not tolerate such language,
>> especially in public settings. A little bit of guilt may be effective in
>> getting them to realize that their behavior is unacceptable and offensive
>> to other people. Try something like, “Dad, if Mom were here right now, she
>> would be appalled by your language,” or, “You would never want your
>> grandchildren to hear you speaking like that, would you?”
>>
>> When a swearing tirade sets in, another technique is to use distraction.
>> The outburst may end once they’re focused on something else, especially for
>> dementia patients. Try bringing up happy times from the old days. Elders
>> love to reminisce, and prompting them to change the subject and tap into
>> their long-term memory will likely cause them to forget about whatever it
>> is that set them off in the first place. If none of these suggestions
>> works, your best bet is to learn not to take this behavior personally. When
>> a senior becomes hostile, back off, disappear for a little while and wait
>> for it to blow over.
>>
>> Paranoia, Delusions and Hallucinations
>>
>> Paranoia and hallucinations in the elderly can take many forms. Seniors
>> may make false accusations of theft or abuse, see people and things that
>> aren’t there, or believe someone is trying to harm them. These behaviors
>> can be especially difficult for caregivers to witness and try to remedy.
>>
>>
>>
>> How to Handle Mental Health Issues in the Elderly
>>
>> Hallucinations and delusions in elders are serious warning signs of a
>> physical or mental problem. Keep track of what your loved one is
>> experiencing and when so you can discuss it with their doctor as soon as
>> possible. This behavior could be explained by something as simple as a side
>> effect of a new medication they are taking, dehydration or a UTI.
>>
>> Oftentimes, paranoia and hallucinations are associated with dementia.
>> When this is the case, caregiving experts seem to agree that the best thing
>> to do is go with the flow. Do not try to talk dementia patients out of a
>> delusion. Validation is a good coping technique, because what the elder is
>> seeing, hearing or experiencing is very real to them. Convincing them
>> otherwise is fruitless and may make them more upset. Acknowledge the
>> senior’s concerns and perception of reality in a soothing voice. If they
>> are scared or agitated, redirect them while assuring that they are safe and
>> you will help them through the experience.
>>
>> Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Elders
>>
>> You can try to reason with your loved one and even talk about items to
>> throw out or give away. Creating a memory box or an organizational system
>> for keeping “special things” may help tame the chaos. With extreme
>> hoarders, behavioral intervention therapies and family counseling could
>> make a big difference in how you cope. In some cases, you may need help
>> from adult protective services if the senior’s behavior has led to unsafe
>> or unsanitary living conditions. This is unfortunately common with stubborn
>> elders with dementia who cannot or will not address their hoarding problems.
>>
>> Hoarding: A Challenging and Potentially Dangerous Dementia-Related
>> Behavior
>>
>> Refusing to Accept Outside Caregivers
>>
>> It is an important milestone when family caregivers decide to hire
>> in-home care for their loved ones, but this plan is often derailed when
>> seniors refuse to let the new caregivers into their homes. Other elders
>> will welcome home health aides in only long enough to tell them that they
>> are fired!
>>
>> Coping With Elders Refusing Care
>>
>> The presence of an outsider suggests to the elderly that their family
>> can’t (or doesn’t want to) take care of them. It also magnifies the extent
>> of their needs and makes them feel vulnerable. Work to understand your
>> loved one’s reasons for resisting in-home care, which could include fear,
>> embarrassment, resentment or some mix of the three. Talk to them about
>> their feelings and work together to find solutions that everyone can live
>> with. For example, if Mom hates the thought of letting a stranger into her
>> home, arrange for her to meet the professional caregiver at the home care
>> company’s office or at a café for coffee first.
>>
>>              The above specimens do exist in our society, so
>> Gopalakrishnan is not an exemption. But his behaviors irritate society and
>> the groups. He will write a reply like an LKG, but GOK GOD SAVE THE
>> GOPALAKRISHNAN
>>
>> K RAJARAM IRS  16825
>>
>

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