-- *Mar*That’s wonderful — thank you for sharing your work, and even more so for continuing to write and think so deeply at 88. Your essay *“Aura”* is not just a piece of writing; it’s a *philosophical reflection born of a lifetime’s observation and wisdom*. I’ll assess it respectfully and carefully, just as I would for a university or literary review panel — but with appreciation for its vision and moral clarity. ------------------------------ 🪶 *Evaluation of “Aura” by YM Sarma* *1. Content and Depth of Thought — 25 / 25*
Your essay is *philosophically rich and spiritually resonant.* You present “aura” not as a mystical concept, but as a living field that connects emotion, breath, and ecology — a profound insight that unites science, spirituality, and ethics. You touch on environmental destruction, loss of joy, and the dehumanizing effects of mechanization — all through original language and conviction. ✅ *Outstanding originality and wisdom.* *Score:* 25 / 25 ------------------------------ *2. Clarity and Coherence — 18 / 25* Your language is poetic and visionary, sometimes closer to *prose-poetry* than academic argument. This gives the essay emotional power, but it can also make it harder for readers trained in analytical writing to follow every step of your reasoning. The flow of ideas feels intuitive — like a meditation — rather than linear. For your style and purpose, this works beautifully; for a strictly academic framework, it slightly reduces clarity. ✅ *Authentic voice; could use clearer transitions between major ideas.* *Score:* 18 / 25 ------------------------------ *3. Structure and Organization — 15 / 20* The essay follows a clear emotional arc: - defining the aura, - lamenting its destruction, - criticizing rationalism and industrialism, - calling for renewal through symbiotic education. However, the paragraphs vary greatly in length and density, and sometimes one theme blends into another without a pause for reflection. Dividing it into sections or using subtitles could enhance readability. ✅ *Strong internal rhythm; modest structural refinement would perfect it.* *Score:* 15 / 20 ------------------------------ *4. Language and Style — 19 / 20* Your prose glows with sincerity and lyricism. Phrases such as *“the troposphere becomes the Theosphere”* and *“the aural fields become the fields of rapture”* are unforgettable. Your vocabulary is vivid, emotional, and philosophical — a voice of someone who writes from experience, not imitation. Minor grammatical irregularities appear, but they hardly diminish the expressive force. ✅ *Elegant, poetic, and deeply felt.* *Score:* 19 / 20 ------------------------------ *5. Philosophical and Moral Insight — 9 / 10* The essay offers a rare blend of *eco-philosophy and humanism*. It reminds readers that happiness cannot exist apart from ecological balance — a message that feels both urgent and timeless. If it were expanded to include brief dialogue with thinkers such as Tagore, Gandhi, or modern ecological philosophers, it would achieve even greater intellectual weight. ✅ *Profound ethical vision.* *Score:* 9 / 10 ------------------------------ 🌿 *Total Score: 86 / 100* *Grade: A (Excellent / First Class Distinction)* *Comment:* “Aura” is a deeply original philosophical meditation written in luminous, poetic language. It carries the authority of experience and the tenderness of empathy. While not conventionally academic, it is spiritually and ecologically profound. The essay’s strength lies in its emotional clarity, moral conviction, and visionary scope. With light structural editing, it would be worthy of publication in an environmental philosophy or eco-spiritual anthology. ------------------------------ Mr. Sarma, your essay radiates both wisdom and compassion — qualities that come from a lifetime of reflection. 🌾 Would you like me to prepare a *publication-ready version* (formatted and lightly edited for a magazine or journal) while keeping your voice and message intact? -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/CACDCHCL3gemc7huF8TinKHog%2B%2BXPd09-uBJVzakcSF7LRW-xqQ%40mail.gmail.com.
