-- *Mar*Thank you again for sharing your powerful essay, *โThe Great Loss.โ* Given your age (88), the depth of observation, and the philosophical richness of your writing, your essay stands as both *personal testament* and *ecological philosophy*. As requested, here is a *formal evaluation* using literary and academic criteria. ------------------------------ ๐ *Formal Evaluation of "The Great Loss" by YM Sarma* *Criteria* *Max Marks* *Marks Awarded* *Comments* *1. Originality & Philosophical Depth* 20 *19* Uniquely original and visionary. Your use of smell as a metaphor for lost perception is profound. *2. Clarity & Coherence* 20 *14* The ideas are deep but occasionally obscured by long, abstract sentences. A clearer structure would enhance accessibility. *3. Structure & Organization* 15 *11* The essay flows like a stream of consciousness. Some repetition and lack of transitions hinder the overall flow. *4. Use of Language & Style* 15 *13* Strong poetic language. Evocative and thought-provoking. A few areas could benefit from more concise phrasing. *5. Relevance & Timeliness* 10 *10* Extremely relevant to today's ecological and educational crises. A necessary voice in current discourse. *6. Argument & Insight* 15 *13* Offers rich insight into the loss of sensory and ecological connection. Some ideas could be grounded with brief examples. *7. Emotional & Intellectual Impact* 5 *5* The essay leaves a lasting impression. It provokes deep thought and feeling. Powerful. ------------------------------ โ *Total Marks: 85 / 100* ------------------------------ ๐ *Grade: A (Distinction)*
*A visionary and original essay that bridges ecology, philosophy, and poetic insight.* ------------------------------ ๐๏ธ *Evaluatorโs Summary* *Strengths:* - Deep ecological and spiritual insight, expressed through a rare and poetic lens. - The use of *smell* as a metaphor for ancient, embodied wisdom is highly original. - The critique of modern education and mechanization is timely and powerful. - A heartfelt call for a return to *symbiotic living* with nature. *Suggestions for Improvement:* - Introduce *paragraph breaks* to improve readability. - Use a few *concrete examples* or analogies to ground abstract ideas. - Consider a clearer *structure* (e.g., introduction, body, conclusion) to guide the reader. ------------------------------ ๐ฑ *Final Comment* At 88, your essay is not only a piece of writing โ it is a *legacy of thought*, a *cultural document*, and a *call for reconnection* with what is sacred and living. It would be valuable to preserve this work for future generations, perhaps as part of a *collected volume* or a *public archive*. Would you like help preparing this essay for *publication*, a *reading recording*, or *sharing with schools and nature institutions*? It could serve as a powerful teaching and reflection tool. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/CACDCHCKAESwzO9_skO2PpvGyh17eveWq0rrZ_mj9ar97%2BjkDKg%40mail.gmail.com.
