Mr Rajaram,
I never feel any resemblance since I think positively. You only think any note
or saying or quote is intended to you or hinting you.
Gopalakrishnan
On Monday, 11 March, 2024 at 07:28:21 am IST, Rajaram Krishnamurthy
<[email protected]> wrote:
PARKINSON’S LAW EXTRACT
ANY RESEMBLANCE IS REGRETTED KR IRS 11324
In France the initial mistake was made of seating therepresentatives in a
semicircle, all facing the chair. The resulting confusioncould be imagined if
it were not notorious. No real opposing teams could beformed and no one could
tell (without listening) which argument was the more cogent.There was the
further handicap of all the proceedings being in French— anexample the United
States wisely refused to follow. But the French system isbad enough even when
the linguistic difficulty does not arise. Instead ofhaving two sides, one in
the right and the other in the wrong— so that theissue is clear from the
outset— the French form a multitude of teams facing inall directions. With the
field in such confusion, the game cannot even begin.Basically their
representatives are of the Right or of the Left, according towhere they sit.
This is a perfectly sound scheme. The French have not gone tothe extreme of
seating people in alphabetical order. But the semicircularchamber allows of
subtle distinctions between the various degrees of tightnessand leftness. There
is none of the clear-cut British distinction betweenrightness and wrongness.
One deputy is described, politically, as to the left ofMonsieur Until but well
to the right of Monsieur Quelque chose. What is anyoneto make of that? What
should we make of it even in English? What do they makeof it themselves? The
answer is, "Nothing."
All this is generally known. What is less generallyrecognized is that the
paramount importance of the seating 16 plan applies toother assemblies and
meetings, international, national, and local. It applies,moreover, to meetings
round a table such as occur at a Round Table Conference.A moment's thought will
convince us that a Square Table Conference would besomething totally different
and a Long Table Conference would be differentagain.
These differences do not merely affect the length andacrimony of the
discussion; they also affect what (if anything) is decided.Rarely, as we know,
will the voting relate to the merits of the case. The finaldecision is
influenced by a variety of factors, few of which need concern us atthe moment.
We should note, however, that the issue is actually decided, in theend, by the
votes of the center bloc. This would not be true in the House of Commons,where
no such bloc is allowed to develop. But at other conferences the centerbloc is
all important. This bloc essentially comprises the following elements:
a. Those who have failed to master any one of thememoranda written in advance
and showered weeks beforehand on all those who areexpected to be present.
b. Those who are too stupid to follow the proceedings atall. These are readily
distinguishable by their tendency to mutter to eachother: "What is the fellow
talking about?"
c. Those who are deaf They sit with their hands cuppingtheir ears, growling "I
wish people would speak up."
d. Those who were dead drunk in the small hours and haveturned up (heaven knows
why) with a splitting headache and a conviction thatnothing matters either way.
e. The senile, whose chief pride is in being as fit asever— fitter indeed than
a lot of these younger men. "I 11 walkedhere," they whisper. "Pretty good for a
man of eighty-two,what?"
f The feeble, whohave weakly promised to support both sides and don't know
what to do about it.They are of two minds as to whether they should abstain
from voting or pretendto be sick.
Toward capturing the votes of the center bloc the firststep is to identify and
count the members. That done, everything else dependson where they are to sit.
The best technique is to detail off known andstalwart supporters to enter into
conversation with named middle-bloc typesbefore the meeting actually begins. In
this preliminary chat the stalwarts willcarefully avoid mentioning the main
subject of debate. They will be trained touse the opening gambits listed below,
corresponding to the categories a to /,into which the middle bloc naturally
falls:
a. "Waste of time, I call it, producing all thesedocuments. I have thrown most
of mine away."
b. "I expect we shall be dazzled by eloquence beforelong. I often wish people
would talk less and come to the point. They are half tooclever, if you ask me."
c. "The acoustics of this hall are simply terrible.You would have thought these
scientific chaps could do something about it. Forhalf the time I CAN'T HEAR
WHAT IS BEING SAID. CAN YOU?"
d. "What a rotten place to meet! I think there issomething wrong with the
ventilation. It makes me feel almost unwell. Whatabout you?"
e. "My goodness, I don't know how you do it! Tell methe secret. Is it what you
have for breakfast?"
f "There's so much to be said on both sides of the 18questions that I really
don't know which side to support. What do you feel aboutit?"
If these gambits are correctly played, each stalwart willstart a lively
conversation, in the midst of which he vows steer his middle-blockmantoward the
forum. As he does this, another stalwart will place himself just aheadof the
pair and moving in the same direction. The drill is best illustrated bya
concrete example.
We will suppose that stalwart X (Mr.Sturdy) is steeringmiddle-blossman Y (Mr.
Waverley, type f) toward a seat near the front. Aheadgoes stalwart Z (Mr.
Staunch), who presently takes a seat without appearing tonotice the two men
following him. Staunch turns in the opposite direction andwaves to someone in
the distance. Then he leans over to make a few remarks tothe man in front of
him. Only when Waverley has sat down will Staunch presentlyturn toward him and
say, "My dear fellow— how nice to see you!" Onlysome minutes later again will
he catch sight of Sturdy and start visibly withsurprise. "Hallo, Sturdy— I
didn't think you would be here!""I've recovered now," replies Sturdy. "It was
only a chill." The seating order is thus made to appear completely accidental,
casual,and friendly. That completes Phase I of the operation, and it would be
much thesame whatever the exact category in which the middle-blockman is
believed tofall.
Phase II has to be adjusted according to the character ofthe man to be
influenced. In the case of Waverley (Type f) the object in PhaseII is to avoid
any discussion of the matter at issue but to produce theimpression that the
thing is already decided. Seated near the front, Waverleywill be unable to see
much of the other members and 19 can be given theimpression that they
practically all think alike.
"Really," says Sturdy, "I don't know why Ibothered to come. I gather that Item
Four is pretty well agreed. All thefellows I meet seem to have made up their
minds to vote for it." (Oragainst it, as the case may be.) "Curious," says
Staunch. "I wasjust going to say the same thing. The
issue hardly seems to be in doubt."
"I had not really made up my own mind," saysSturdy. 20 "There was much to be
said on either side. But opposition wouldreally be a waste of time.
What do you think, Waverley?"
"Well," says Waverley, "I must admit that Ifind the question rather baffling.
On the one hand, there is good reason toagree to the motion ...
As against that... Do you think it will pass?"
"My dear Waverley, I would trust your judgment inthis. You were saying just now
that it is already agreed. "
"Oh, was I? Well, there does seem to be a majority.... Or perhaps I should say
..."
"Thank you, Waverley," says Staunch, "foryour opinion. I think just the same
but am particularly interested to find youagree with me. There is no one whose
opinion I value more."
Sturdy, meanwhile, is leaning over to talk to someone inthe row behind. What he
actually says, in a low voice, is this, "How isyour wife now? Is she out of the
hospital?" When he turns back again, however,it is to announce that the people
behind all think the same. The motion is asgood as passed. And so it is if the
drill goes according to plan.
While the other side has been busy preparing speeches andphrasing amendments,
the side with the superior technique will have concentratedon pinning each
middle-blockman between two reliable supporters. When the crucialmoment comes,
the raising of a hand on either side will practically compel thewaverer to
follow suit. Should he be actually asleep, as often happens withmiddle-blockman
in categories d and e, his hand will be raised for him by themember on his
right. This rule is merely to obviate both his hands beingraised; a gesture
that has been known to attract unfavourable comment. With themiddle bloc thus
secured, the motion will be carried with a comfortable margin;or else rejected,
if that is thought preferable. In nearly every matter ofcontroversy to be
decided by the will of the people, we can assume that thepeople who will decide
are members of the middle bloc. Delivery of speeches istherefore a waste of
time.
K Rajaram IRS 11324
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