----- Original Message ----- From: "ann sanfedele" Subject: Re: The JCO survey
> > come on guys - take it off list or lighten up or both > > annsan for peace and friendliness The guy that built my house is a jco type. He also uses bullying and abuse to get what he wants. The problem with letting people get away with this sort of crap is that they tend to keep doing it, and become very hair triggered. It is self reinforcing behaviour By this, I mean that eventually, as soon as someone crosses them, they become abusive and bullying, secure in the knowledge that they will "win", since they always have in the past. I see this sort of behaviour in dogs on a regular basis. The dog that runs it's fence chasing off anyone who walks by is showing the same behaviour. I expect that jco has used his bullying methods of getting his own way for a very long time, probably it is something that he learned in grade school and has escalated through his entire life, to the point now that he jumps down anyone's throat who dares to have a differing opinion, he treats any slight as a personal attack, and he escalates anything that crosses him to the most extreme position he can. It's easy to write this sort of psychotic behaviour off as a mental illness, and I have recieved a few private emails asking me to stop the bear baiting. Bullying and abuse does not classify as a mental illness. Bullies know exactly what they are doing, they just have so little regard for people that they continue doing it. Bullies tend to be wife beaters, or animal abusers, they tend to go looking for fights, but will only pick on those they see as unable to defend themselves. The more fights they win, the bolder the bullying becomes. Eventually, they see anyone as fair game, they see themselves as a superior, unassailable being who has the right to do exactly what he is doing. "If I didn't have the right to do it, someone would stop me" is essentially the mindset that they take. Since everyone backs down, the behaviour continues unabated, and tends to escalate. So, one is faced with a choice: Does one let the bully win, thereby reinforcing his loutish behaviour, or does one stand up to the bully and not let him win, thereby essentially castrating him? This is not the first time that jco has teed off on people on this list. At one time Rob Studdert and I had a running game about when jco would get himself wound up again. For a while it was about once every three weeks, like clockwork. Let it go if you like, let the Wookie win, so to speak. You can be secure in the knowledge that he will continue his abuse, perhaps not today or tomorrow, but again at some point, and that the next time he will be even more antisocial With dogs, when they get to the point jco is at, the best option is to put them down. William Robb -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List [email protected] http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net
