Okay, I seem to have resolved this problem on my own.

I edited my /etc/X11/xorg.conf and inserted

        DefaultFbBpp      24

within: Section "Screen"

I know this is a trivial fix for me, but a lambda user would be stuck. I was 
honestly expecting the 
BulletProof X system or something to show up. XKeepsCrashing does not offer 
much help.

I was also surprised to discover that there is no text-mode X
configurator (at least that I could find).

-- 
X Server fails to start. -- i815
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/178837
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