Jordan,

The reason you see this is because you have your status set to Available in the 
session menu. It's an easy matter to change this globaly:
Go SessionMenu -> Set Status -> Offline

and incoming messages will not open Empathy and you will appear offline.

** Changed in: indicator-session (Ubuntu)
     Assignee: Ken VanDine (ken-vandine) => (unassigned)

-- 
empathy started automatically on incoming message
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/444170
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