Moving ~/.gtkrc-2.0 out of the way prior to starting Xfce should resolve the submitter's first issue.
** Changed in: xubuntu-meta (Ubuntu)
Sourcepackagename: xubuntu-meta => gtk2-engines-gtk-qt
Importance: Untriaged => High
Status: Unconfirmed => Confirmed
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Installing over fresh kubuntu install breaks everything
https://launchpad.net/bugs/50277
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