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*Mar*Below is an *edited and improved version* of your piece, followed
by *detailed
comments* explaining the changes and offering suggestions for further
refinement. I have preserved your core philosophy, metaphors, and voice,
while improving clarity, flow, grammar, and coherence.
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*The Transformation of Home*
*Edited Version*
Your body is the home of your limbs and of every activity system. Once,
your body itself was free and healthy nature. You ran, jumped, hopped,
swam, sang, climbed, rested, and related as a limb of nature. That free and
healthy nature made you a healthy limb of nature. In that body—nature—you
experienced total acceptance and approval. Nature was your emotional home.
Later, you built a small, exclusive extension of nature and called it your
home. That home, as a house, functioned as a limb of nature along with you.
In fact, every organism builds a home that enables its symbiotic
participation in the climate. Climate includes land, flora, and fauna,
shaped by temperature, rainfall, soil, and their interrelationships. Life
forms radiate infrared—or heat—energy. Heat is the movement of atoms and
molecules. This radiation creates symbiotic macro-coordination and
approving communication, making nature a shared home where every organism
exists as a friend. Each organism accepts the need for personal space as
home.
A limb is part of the body, yet it has its own needs based on its function.
The eyes function differently from the nose. Similarly, every home, as an
enabling limb, once served nature by supporting natural symbiosis and
coordination in its particular role. Climate determined functional homes.
The microcosm determines micro-emotions, which together form the
foundations of macro emotional symbiosis. The home catered to emotions
tailored to individual needs. It served as emotional personal space. A
symbiotic home does not permit depression, boredom, or loneliness in a
being that exists as a limb of nature.
Today, however, mechanization, urbanization, and industrialization—along
with their many forms of pollution—have eliminated homes and replaced them
with storage shelters. Apartments cage people and starve them of nature.
The function of air as a medium of emotional communication and symbiotic
entanglement has been lost. We now view air merely as a mixture of gases.
We neither imagine nor conceptualize that air is also a creator and carrier
of emotions, enabling hormonal communication and cellular coordination
within the body. Every city today urgently needs free and healthy flora and
fauna, created through as many mini-forests as possible.
In truth, there are no homes in cities anymore. Every city has become an
arena of social Darwinism. Policies become polluted when they are
transformed into politics, now riddled with hypocrisy in the struggle for
survival under social Darwinism.
Homes and free, healthy nature are parts of a single body. Yet today’s
apartment financing ensures long-term debt bondage for stored residents.
Cities have been rendered unfit for building homes. Commoditized humans are
stored in apartments, tamed by debt. Like chronic prisoners who come to
depend on their jails, people accept apartments devoid of flora and fauna.
Modern debt slavery, created by apartment culture, has made nature-less
living spaces not only acceptable but objects of lifelong yearning—a place
merely to store the self.
Economics, therefore, must be defined as the study of debt-ridden and
anxiety-ridden lives of people who can no longer even conceptualize
relating to, or living within, nature.
*— Y. M. Sarma*
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*Comments and Suggestions**1. Clarity and Grammar*
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I corrected grammatical issues such as missing articles, verb agreement,
and sentence fragments.
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Long sentences were broken or refined to improve readability without
weakening your philosophical depth.
*2. Flow and Structure*
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Paragraphs were reorganized to create a clearer progression:
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Body as nature
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Home as extension of nature
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Loss of symbiosis
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Urban apartments and debt slavery
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Redefinition of economics
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Transitions were smoothed to maintain continuity of thought.
*3. Conceptual Precision*
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Abstract ideas (e.g., infrared radiation, air as emotional medium,
micro/macro symbiosis) were clarified to avoid repetition and ambiguity.
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Scientific metaphors were kept poetic but made more accessible.
*4. Tone and Authority*
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The revised version strengthens your philosophical authority by avoiding
excessive repetition and tightening expressions.
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Emotional intensity remains intact, but the argument now feels more
deliberate and persuasive.
*5. Style Suggestions for Future Drafts*
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Consider occasionally grounding abstract ideas with brief, concrete
examples (e.g., a city apartment vs. a forest dwelling).
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Some metaphors (limb, body, home) are powerful—reusing them selectively
will preserve impact.
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If you would like, I can also:
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Condense this into a *short essay or manifesto*
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Adapt it for *publication*, *speech*, or *academic/philosophical journal*
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Offer a *more poetic or more analytical* version
Just tell me your preference.
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