welcome sir KR On Fri, 14 Nov 2025 at 14:48, APS Mani <[email protected]> wrote:
> Crab mentality is attributed to Malayalees. If one Malayalee tries to > escape the bucket, the other pulls him done. Oft quoted among the > Malayalee circle. Strange that the comparison is worldwide. The topic > is well dealt with by KR Sir, as usual. Mani > > On Fri, Nov 14, 2025 at 2:10 PM Rajaram Krishnamurthy < > [email protected]> wrote: > >> Crab mentality, also known as crab theory, crabs in a bucket >> mentality, or the crab-bucket effect, describes the mindset of people who >> try to prevent others from gaining a favorable position, even if attaining >> such position would not directly impact those trying to stop them. Examples >> of crab mentality include a workplace where colleagues spread rumors about >> a high-achieving coworker, friends who use peer pressure to sabotage a >> healthy lifestyle, or a family member who discourages someone from pursuing >> a career or relationship outside of the family's expectations. These >> actions often stem from jealousy or envy, with individuals trying to pull >> others down to their own level rather than working on their own success. >> In humans, this instinct stems from deep stirrings of insecurity and fear >> that cause people to feel like others shouldn't be allowed to have >> something if they can't also have it. It springs up in families, >> workplaces, social circles, and romantic relationships. >> >> In cases where you can’t change people’s mindset and behavior >> directly, you can focus on your own mindset and actions instead, in a way >> that reduces the impact that their crab mentality has on you. For example, >> you can: >> >> Ignore them. >> >> Realize that their crab mentality is driven mostly by their own issues, >> rather than by anything that you did, even if their behavior is directed at >> you. >> >> Accept that because people’s crab mentality is generally their own issue, >> there might not be anything that you can do to solve it. >> >> Forgive other people for engaging in crab mentality, not necessarily >> because they deserve it, but because that’s the best thing you can do for >> yourself. >> >> Focus on your own progress and accomplishments, rather than on other >> people’s negativity. >> >> Refuse to engage in crab mentality yourself, and even do the opposite, by >> actively celebrating the achievement of others. >> >> Some of these techniques can also help reduce people’s crab mentality >> over time. >> >> Finally, in some cases, the best long-term solution is to simply >> distance yourself from people who display crab mentality. This isn’t always >> an option, for example if your colleagues are the ones displaying crab >> mentality and changing jobs isn’t currently an option, but it is something >> that you can do in some cases, such as when it comes to your circle of >> friends. >> >> Overall, to deal with crab mentality in others, you can either >> try to reduce this mentality directly, by using similar methods as you >> would use to avoid crab mentality in yourself, or you can focus on your own >> mindset and actions instead, for example by realizing that people’s crab >> mentality is driven primarily by their own issues, rather than by anything >> that you did. >> >> There are some concepts that are closely associated with crab >> mentality, such as: >> >> The tall poppy syndrome, which describes a phenomenon where people >> disparage those who do well, similarly to crabs mentality. This phenomenon >> is based on a story in Livy’s “The History of Rome” (Book I). In the story, >> Sextus Tarquinius, who was the son of the Roman King Lucius Tarquinius >> Superbus, had become beloved and powerful in the city of Gabii, and sent a >> messenger to his father asking what to do next. The king, instead of >> replying in words, walked out to the garden together with the messenger, >> and used his cane to strike off the heads of the tallest poppies. Upon >> returning, the messenger shared the story of what happened, and the King’s >> son understood his father’s intentions, and proceeded to remove all the >> principal people of Gabii, through various methods, such as prosecution, >> banishment, and assassination. >> >> The allegory of the long spoons, which describes a situation where >> people are seated at a table with food that they’re unable to eat because >> the spoons that they have are too long for them to feed themselves. The >> solution is for people to use the long spoons to feed each other, showing >> how, in certain situations, cooperation is crucial, and can benefit all >> those who are involved. >> >> Schadenfreude, which is satisfaction that’s derived from someone >> else’s misfortune. >> >> The mentality of “if I can’t have it, neither can you”. >> >> Various idioms, such as “misery loves company”. >> >> Crab mentality in specific cultures >> >> Crab mentality is often described as being particularly characteristic of >> certain cultures, and especially Philippine culture. In this context, it’s >> sometimes also referred to using similar terms, that are based on the >> Filipino Tagalog language, such as kanya-kanya syndrome, *talangka >> [crab] mentality, isip talangka [thinking like a crab], and utak talangka >> [crab brain].* >> >> However, the fact that this phenomenon is often discussed in the >> context of Philippine culture does not mean that Filipinos are the only >> ones that display this behavior, or that they display it more frequently or >> to a greater degree than others. >> >> Furthermore, this term and similar ones have often been used to >> describe members of other cultures. As one book on the topic states: >> >> “Hawaiians are said to be afflicted with a psychological disorder >> known as the ‘‘Alamihi Syndrome.’ An ‘alamihi is a common black crab that >> lives among the rocks along Hawaiian shores. Crab catchers trap them in >> nets, and then dump them into buckets until the time comes to take them >> home for cooking*. Critics of uncooperative Hawaiians love to compare >> them with the ‘alamihi, which always manage to pull down the ones who are >> trying to climb up and over the sides of a bucket.* This analogy has >> been repeated so often that now it is a part of the standard lore about >> Hawaiians’ behavior to other Hawaiians. By now even Hawaiians themselves >> believe it. >> >> Incidentally, the same analogy is used against the Maoris in New >> Zealand, against coastal Indians in Canada and the United States, Chamorros >> in Guam, and the natives of many another place.” >> >> — From “Ku Kanaka—Stand Tall: A Search for Hawaiian Values” (1986) >> >> Furthermore, as one study states: “…even if you call it >> talangka mentality, indigenizing the animal does not make the expression >> indigenous.” >> >> Overall, although the concept of “crab mentality” is sometimes >> associated with certain cultures, these associations are often dubious, and >> you should be wary of them. In addition, even if crab mentality is >> associated with certain cultures more than others, that doesn’t necessarily >> mean that all members of such cultures display crab mentality, or that >> members of other cultures never display this mentality. >> >> Summary and conclusions >> >> Crab mentality is a phenomenon where people react negatively when others >> get ahead. >> >> For example, crab mentality can cause someone to mock a friend who does >> well at school, because they’re upset about struggling with their own >> studies. >> >> People display crab mentality for various reasons, like wanting to feel >> better about themselves, viewing others’ success as coming at their >> expense, or emulating others. >> >> Signs of crab mentality include frequently trying to discourage or >> sabotage others, reacting negatively to others’ accomplishments, and >> expressing satisfaction toward others’ misfortunes. >> >> To handle crab mentality, you can call it out, and try to either address >> its root causes if possible, or prevent the negative actions that it leads >> to if not. >> >> No, expressing counter thoughts is not necessarily tantamount to >> "crab culture"; the two are distinct concepts. >> >> Crab culture (or crab mentality) describes a destructive mindset where >> individuals try to pull down those who are succeeding, motivated by envy, >> resentment, or a zero-sum bias (the belief that one person's gain is >> another's loss). The core characteristic is the intent to hinder another >> person's progress for no personal gain, simply to level the playing field >> through negativity or sabotage. >> >> Expressing counter thoughts, on the other hand, can be a vital part of >> healthy communication, critical thinking, and collaboration. >> >> The key difference lies in the motivation and intent: >> >> Feature Counter Thoughts (Healthy) Crab Culture (Toxic) >> >> Motivation To improve an idea, explore different perspectives, or solve >> a problem collaboratively. To diminish another's success, driven by >> jealousy or insecurity. >> >> Goal Collective or individual growth, innovation, and better >> decision-making. Preventing someone from gaining a favorable >> position, even if it harms the group's overall progress. >> >> Impact Fosters innovation and thoughtful discussion. Creates a >> toxic environment, discourages risk-taking, and leads to stagnation. >> >> Therefore, expressing counter thoughts only becomes "crab culture" when >> the intent is malicious and aimed at tearing others down rather than >> engaging in constructive dialogue or healthy competition. >> >> The crab mentality is a selfish and narrow-minded way of >> thinking, characterized by egocentrism, jealousy, and inequity. The >> opposite of the crab mentality approach is lifting others, virtually all >> the crabs in the bucket could escape. The opposite of "crab mentality" >> is an approach of "lifting others," where a group works together for >> collective success instead of pulling each other down, allowing more >> members to escape a negative situation. While crab mentality is a mindset >> of jealousy and insecurity that prevents individual or group progress, >> lifting others promotes a collaborative environment where success is >> celebrated, and support is given to help everyone rise. This collaborative >> approach is often summarized as a "if I can have it, so can you" attitude, >> in contrast to the crabs-in-a-bucket mentality of "if I can't have it, >> neither can you". >> >> Tesser's self-evaluation maintenance theory (SEM) suggests that >> individuals engage in self-evaluation not only through introspection but >> also through comparison to others, especially those within their close >> social circles. When someone close to an individual excels in areas they >> value, they may feel threatened and act in ways that downplay their >> achievements. This mechanism can partly explain why individuals may attempt >> to pull down those who achieve more than themselves as a way to protect >> their own self-esteem and social standing. Emotions such as envy may be >> generated when individuals feel threatened during self-evaluation. This >> can lead to a desire to diminish the well-being of others, particularly >> when their success highlights the individual's own failures or inadequacies >> >> Relative deprivation theory proposes that feelings of >> dissatisfaction and injustice arise when people compare their situation >> unfavorably with others' situations. This sense of inequality, rooted in >> subjective perceptions rather than objective measures, can deeply influence >> social behavior, including the phenomenon of crab mentality. When >> individuals see their peers achieving success or receiving the recognition >> they feel is undeserved or unattainable for themselves, it can trigger >> actions aimed at undermining these peers' accomplishments. The concept >> emerged from a study of American soldiers by Stouffer. Soldiers in units >> with more promotions were paradoxically less satisfied, feeling left out if >> not promoted themselves, despite better odds of advancement. This reflects >> how relative deprivation fuels dissatisfaction by comparing one's situation >> to others. By "dragging" others down to a similar level, individuals might >> feel a sense of satisfaction. Thus, crab mentality can be viewed as a >> response to perceived social inequality, where pulling others down becomes >> a strategy to cope with feelings of inadequacy or injustice. >> >> THUS, GENERALLY ONLY INFERIORITY COMPLEX FLOAT THIS THEORY >> AGAINST WHOM, THEIR MERITS APPEARED TO THEM AS NOT BALANCEABLE. THOSE WHO >> ACCUSE OTHERS WITHOUT BASIS AND ONLY FOR EXPRESSIONS, HAVE THIS THEORY AS >> FAVOURABLE TO THEM BUT ALAS, THEIR MIND REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH >> >> K RAJARAM IRS 141125 >> > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. 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