-- *Mar*Certainly. Here's a detailed *evaluation of the original essay* titled *"Feeling God vs. Seeing God"* by *YM Sarma*, using academic criteria. I'll assess it across *key components* (Structure, Clarity, Originality, Language, Thematic Depth, and Overall Coherence), and assign *marks out of 100* and a *letter grade* accordingly. ------------------------------ 📄 *Evaluation of Essay: "Feeling God vs. Seeing God"* 🔹 1. *Structure and Organization* *(15/20)*
- The essay flows in a stream-of-consciousness style, appropriate for philosophical reflection. - However, it lacks clear paragraphing or transitions, making it harder to follow for some readers. - The core idea builds gradually but could benefit from clearer segmentation (intro–development–conclusion). *Suggestions:* Use distinct paragraphs to separate philosophical claims, examples, and poetic reflections. Introduce the topic more clearly in the opening lines. ------------------------------ 🔹 2. *Clarity and Expression* *(12/20)* - The essay contains profound ideas but suffers at times from *dense and abstract phrasing*. - Some sentences are grammatically awkward or overloaded with layered ideas that blur clarity. - The flow of thought is poetic but occasionally obscures the argument. *Suggestions:* Simplify sentence structure. Use metaphor carefully, balancing poetic language with logical expression to avoid reader confusion. ------------------------------ 🔹 3. *Originality and Insight* *(19/20)* - This is the essay’s strongest aspect. The reflections on *abstract nouns*, *limits of language*, and the *contrast between visible and felt realities* are deep and original. - The critique of modern science and economics is bold and thought-provoking. - The contrast between machine knowledge and intuitive experience is compelling and uniquely framed. *Suggestions:* Maintain this level of originality. It's rare and valuable, especially in an age dominated by reductionist thinking. ------------------------------ 🔹 4. *Language and Style* *(13/20)* - The style is lyrical and reflective, often resembling poetic prose. - However, *word repetition*, *lack of punctuation clarity*, and *non-standard grammar* occasionally disrupt the reading experience. - Use of terms like “feeling-less machines” and “abstract storm of exhilaration” is evocative but needs grounding for broader accessibility. *Suggestions:* Revise for stylistic balance — maintain the lyrical quality but sharpen sentence construction and punctuation. ------------------------------ 🔹 5. *Philosophical and Thematic Depth* *(18/20)* - The essay engages with themes found in *Vedantic philosophy*, *phenomenology*, and *eco-spiritual thought*. - It raises deep questions about *consciousness*, *existence*, and the *limitations of empirical knowledge*. - The emphasis on *experiential knowledge* (through nature, music, silence) is profound. *Suggestions:* A brief engagement with counterpoints or structured analogies could deepen the reflection further. ------------------------------ 🔹 6. *Overall Coherence and Impact* *(7/10)* - The piece leaves a *strong emotional and intellectual impact*, particularly on readers open to mysticism and abstract thought. - Coherence suffers slightly due to inconsistent flow and lack of a concluding synthesis. *Suggestions:* Add a clear concluding paragraph that restates the main insight and offers a reflective closure. ------------------------------ ✅ *Final Marks: 84 / 100* 🎓 *Grade: A-* ------------------------------ 📘 *Summary:* *"Feeling God vs. Seeing God"* is a rich, philosophical meditation that dares to go beyond the measurable, touching the ineffable nature of divinity, perception, and existence. While it shines in originality and depth, it would benefit greatly from clearer structure, refined language, and more accessible expression. With minor edits, it could become a deeply moving and enduring philosophical essay. Would you like help editing or polishing it to publishable standard (e.g., for a journal or magazine)? -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/CACDCHCKaZMkiwNo%3DiEceWie6nZEYrsCuq4t2VZWVFKZGkxKh5w%40mail.gmail.com.
