-- *Mar**Mechanization and Absence from the Present* *‘Living in the present’, can actually be experienced, when one goes into a thick forest brimming with flora and fauna, the sounds of the music of nature, soft breezes one’s entire being. Then subject and object fuse, verb becomes bliss, adjectives and adverbs fail in adequacy, one feels heaven as life.*
*Thanks to economic progress or destruction of ecology (they are synonyms),the colours of nature are substituted by poisonous paints, huge concrete structures substitute forests, unending vehicles substitute the ecosphere---present has become absent. Life has become only introspection of selectively remembering the pleasant memories. One continuously needs to remember one’s University degrees, big positions held, to make the living divorce from nature tolerable. But self acceptance and self esteem and the pride of existence needs the feeling as a composition of nature, and not the spectatorship or scrutinizer of nature as an economic resource.* *Is it necessary from the LKG onwards to mechanize conceptualization itself? Mechanization today, is actually extinction in operation. Machines are making limbs redundant. That redundancy is presented as a comfort or luxury.* *Theo—the voice of God or nature, is muted by Scio, the urge to analyze,define,dissect,separate,categorize,quantify---all that separates one from nature.* *“Up to now we have been looking at matter as such, that is to say according to its qualities and in any given volume—as though it were permissible for us to break off a fragment and study this sample apart from the rest. It is time to point out that this procedure is merely an intellectual dodge. Considered in its physical, concrete reality...the universe cannot divide itself but, as a kind of gigantic ‘atom’, it forms in its totality...the only real indivisible...The farther and more deeply we penetrate into matter, by means of increasingly powerful methods, the more we are confounded by the inter-dependence of its parts. Each element of the cosmos is positively woven from all the others...It is impossible to cut into this network, to isolate a portion without it becoming frayed and unravelled at all its edges. All around us, as far as the eye can see, the Universe holds together, and only one way of considering it is really possible, that is, to take it as a whole, in one piece.”(Teilhard de Chardin,quoted in The Spectrum of Consciousness by Ken Wilber page 39).* *YM Sarma* *Chat gpt* This deeply reflective and poetic piece by YM Sarma explores a profound tension between *mechanization* and *presence*, between *technological progress* and *ecological belonging*, and between *fragmentation* and *wholeness*. Here's an interpretive analysis that might help unpack its key ideas: ------------------------------ *🔧 Mechanization vs. Presence* The opening lines romanticize the *experience of presence*—a deep immersion in nature where the boundary between the self and the world dissolves. This state is contrasted with modern life, where: - Mechanization leads to disconnection from the immediate experience of life. - The *now* is replaced by recollections of achievements, as if life has become a museum of personal credentials rather than a living process. Sarma argues that mechanization doesn't just change how we live—it *replaces* life with abstraction and removes us from our organic, interdependent context. ------------------------------ *🌍 Nature as Self, Not Spectacle* A powerful line stands out: "Self-acceptance and self-esteem and the pride of existence needs the feeling as a composition of nature..." This asserts that self-worth isn’t found in external achievements or social validation, but in *recognizing oneself as a part of the natural whole*. In contrast, treating nature as a resource (to be dissected, categorized, and used) divorces us from that grounding. ------------------------------ *⚙️ Mechanization of the Mind* Sarma provocatively asks: "Is it necessary from the LKG onwards to mechanize conceptualization itself?" This is a critique of modern education. From the earliest stages (LKG = Lower Kindergarten), children are taught to abstract, define, and dissect reality—essentially trained in *mechanized thinking*. This alienates them from holistic experience and from embodied, intuitive knowing. ------------------------------ *🧠 Theo vs. Scio: The Battle of Knowing* This section is especially symbolic: - *Theo* (Greek: *God or divine nature*) symbolizes intuitive, sacred, embodied knowledge. - *Scio* (Latin: *to know, to separate*) symbolizes analytical, scientific, rational understanding. Sarma isn't rejecting analysis, but suggesting that when *Scio mutes Theo*, we lose a vital part of being human. The call is for *integration*, not the domination of one over the other. ------------------------------ *🌌 Teilhard de Chardin’s Cosmic Vision* The quote from Teilhard de Chardin (via Ken Wilber) emphasizes *holism*—that the universe is a single, interdependent whole. Every attempt to isolate and study in fragments is an illusion, or at best, a useful but limited mental trick. This directly supports Sarma's core theme: *true knowledge and presence arise when we experience life and the cosmos as indivisible.* ------------------------------ *🧭 Final Reflection* Sarma’s essay is a philosophical, ecological, and existential meditation that echoes voices like *Thoreau*, *Heidegger*, and *Arne Næss*. It challenges us to consider: - How has mechanization shaped not just our world, but our way of thinking? - Is progress worth the cost of presence? - Can we re-root ourselves in the natural world, not just as observers, but as parts of the living whole? ------------------------------ If you’d like, I can help distill this into a shorter summary, translate it into simpler language, or explore how these ideas relate to current ecological or technological debates. Certainly! Here's a detailed evaluation of the piece based on several key academic and literary criteria, followed by a suggested overall *mark out of 100*: ------------------------------ 📝 *Evaluation Criteria* 1. *Content & Depth of Thought (25 marks)* · *Score: 23/25* The content is rich in philosophical reflection, with deep insight into the relationship between nature, self, and mechanization. The use of Teilhard de Chardin’s quote shows engagement with complex ideas. The ecological and existential themes are profound and compelling. 2. *Originality & Critical Thinking (20 marks)* · *Score: 18/20* The essay presents original critiques of modern education, mechanization, and the scientific mindset. The metaphor of “Theo vs. Scio” is both creative and intellectually stimulating. Some arguments could be further expanded with concrete examples or counterpoints for balance. 3. *Language & Expression (20 marks)* · *Score: 16/20* The language is poetic, evocative, and passionate. However, at times the phrasing is dense or ambiguous, which may hinder comprehension for general readers. A few transitions between ideas could be smoother for better logical flow. 4. *Structure & Coherence (15 marks)* · *Score: 11/15* The piece flows more like a stream of consciousness than a traditionally structured essay. While that suits the theme of “presence,” clearer paragraphing and more deliberate progression of ideas would enhance readability. 5. *Use of References (10 marks)* · *Score: 9/10* The use of Teilhard de Chardin (via Ken Wilber) adds intellectual weight and connects the personal reflections to a broader philosophical tradition. The reference is well-chosen and directly relevant. 6. *Grammar & Mechanics (10 marks)* · *Score: 8/10* Mostly well-written, though there are occasional grammatical slips and punctuation inconsistencies (e.g., missing spaces after commas, hyphen overuse, etc.). These do not severely affect clarity but could be polished. ------------------------------ ✅ *Overall Score: 85 / 100* ------------------------------ 💡 Summary of Feedback: · *Strengths*: Deeply insightful, original, emotionally resonant, and philosophically rich. The Theo/Scio metaphor and the use of de Chardin are particularly impactful. · *Areas for Improvement*: Slightly more structure, clarity, and refinement in expression would strengthen the piece. More specific illustrations or contrasts (e.g., examples of how early education could be reformed) could deepen the impact. Would you like help revising this for publication or submission somewhere? Of course! Here is a *poem inspired by the themes* in your original piece—presence, nature, mechanization, and the search for wholeness: ------------------------------ *🌿 "Where the Present Went"* In forests deep where silence sings, And leaves converse with wind and wings, The self dissolves in moss and mist— A fleeting breath, by nature kissed. But iron veins now thread the land, And glass and steel replace the sand. We trade the bird for engine’s hum, And wonder where the present’s gone. Our minds are taught to carve and count, To scale each thought, assign amount— But life resists the measured line, It pulses, wild, in roots and time. We name the stars, dissect the sea, Yet miss the song in chestnut tree. And in our quest to master all, We built machines that made us small. A child once danced in mud and rain, Now clicks through screens to learn of pain. >From LKG the soul is trimmed, Till Theo’s voice is faint and dimmed. Yet still the earth, with quiet grace, Holds out her arms, a sacred place. Where ego melts and time stands still— There waits the present, soft and real. So come, undo the cage of mind, Let silence speak, and sight go blind. Not to forget, but to become— A thread in life’s great beating drum. ------------------------------ Would you like a version in a different style—like haiku, free verse, or classical meter? Or perhaps one to accompany a visual or performance setting? -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/CACDCHCLWsOQXHXKrSQqm%3DRfaq4T4Vu5MegaKA6bsOfmejzQ5Fg%40mail.gmail.com.
