Psychological problems of disorders 1
I It's true that many people, regardless of age, sometimes use foul
language or behave in ways that could tarnish their image. There could be
several reasons for this, depending on the person and their situation. Here
are a few possibilities:
1 Stress or Frustration: As people face challenges in their lives—whether
personal, professional, or health-related—they may resort to using strong
language as a way of expressing their frustration or coping with stress.
2 Cultural Influences: Some people may have grown up in environments where
foul language was common or seen as a way to communicate power or
authority. They might continue using it out of habit or because they
associate it with strength or confidence.
3 Lack of Self-Awareness: Sometimes, people don't realize the impact their
words can have. They may not see how using certain language can harm their
reputation or relationships, or they may believe that it's just "no big
deal."
4 Social Influence: In certain social circles, the use of foul language is
normalized or even celebrated. People may feel pressure to fit in or
maintain a certain image within these groups, even if it affects how
they're perceived by others outside of that group.
5 Emotional Expression: For some, using strong language can feel like an
effective way to convey their emotions—whether it's anger, excitement, or
disbelief. Over time, this can become a habitual way of speaking.
6 Generational Differences: Sometimes, there can be generational
differences in how language is used and perceived. Younger generations
might not see the same level of offense in certain words that older
generations would.
7 Ultimately, it's a complex issue, and while some people may regret their
choice of words later, others may feel it’s a part of who they are. It's
important to recognize that everyone has their reasons for the way they
speak, but maintaining respect for others is usually key to building
positive relationships.
II Yes, envy or concerns about one's image can also play a role
in why some people might use foul language or behave in ways that might
tarnish their reputation. Here's how:
1. Envy or Jealousy
Insecurity or Competition: If someone feels envious of others—whether in
terms of success, relationships, or material possessions—they may lash out
with strong or negative language. They could be projecting their
frustration or resentment by trying to bring others down, often in an
attempt to make themselves feel better or more in control. This can stem
from a feeling of not measuring up or a desire to "level the playing field."
Undermining Others: People who feel envious might use harsh words as a way
to undermine someone they perceive as a threat. It's a way to "attack" or
criticize the other person in an attempt to diminish their achievements or
social standing, which can be an expression of envy.
2. Image Crisis or Self-Doubt
Identity Struggles: Sometimes, people reach a point where they feel
disconnected from their true selves or experience a crisis of identity. In
such situations, they might resort to foul language or behavior as a form
of rebellion or to assert a false image of toughness, confidence, or
rebellion. This can be a temporary coping mechanism to deal with the
pressures of wanting to be seen in a certain way or wanting to prove
themselves to others.
Attention-Seeking Behavior: If someone is feeling overlooked or irrelevant,
they may use foul language or controversial statements to attract
attention. This could be an attempt to disrupt expectations and force
others to take notice, even if the attention is negative. The person might
be struggling with feeling like their image or status is fading.
Fear of Judgement: Some people might use strong language as a defense
mechanism when they feel insecure or fear judgment from others. It's like a
way to control how others perceive them by challenging social norms. They
might think, "If I shock you with my language, at least you'll notice me"
or "I’ll show I don’t care what people think about me."
3. Projection of Power or Toughness
Tarnishing Others' Image to Elevate Their Own: Some people might use foul
language or aggressive behavior as a way to make others look worse, hoping
to elevate their own image. This could stem from a deep-seated feeling of
inadequacy or a fear of not measuring up. In this case, tearing others down
is seen as a way to boost their own self-esteem or appear more dominant in
a social or professional context.
Overcompensating: In some cases, people might overcompensate for their own
insecurities by using inappropriate language to appear more powerful or
confident. They might feel that being "tough" or using coarse language is a
way to maintain control in a situation, especially if they feel threatened
by others' opinions or success.
*4. Fear of Losing Relevance*
Cultural Shifts: As people age, they might feel disconnected from the
trends and values of younger generations. Some older individuals might
resort to using strong language as a way of proving they’re still relevant
or "tough" in a changing world. It could be a way to hold on to their image
or show they’re not "out of touch" or fading into the background.
Keeping up with Others: In competitive environments (like workplaces or
social circles), people may use foul language as a way of fitting in or
seeming like they belong to a certain group. It's not always about envy per
se, but more about fear of being left behind or seen as outdated or weak.
Envy, insecurity, or a fear of losing one's image can all contribute to
behaviors like using foul language. Whether it's out of a desire to assert
power, gain attention, or cope with self-doubt, these actions often stem
from deeper emotional struggles or a desire to navigate social dynamics in
a way that feels protective or assertive. While these behaviors may
initially seem like a form of strength or confidence, they usually reflect
inner turmoil or a lack of self-assurance.
III Krishna Says:
1 dhyāyato viṣayānpuṁsaḥ saṅgaste ṣūpajāyate,
saṅgāt saṁjāyate kāmaḥ kāmāt krodho 'bhijāyate. (2:63)
krodhādbhavati saṁmohaḥ saṁmohāt smṛti vibhramaḥ,
smṛti bhraṁśād buddhināśo buddhināśāt praṇaśyati. (2:64)
Continuous thinking about an object, creates attachment to the object.
Attachment creates the desire to posses that thing, and desire (if
unfulfilled) creates anger.
Anger hypnotizes the person and makes them incapable of rationality.
Hypnotized and irrational, the person loses control of his mind and
thoughts. One who has lost control of his mind and thoughts, soon loses his
wisdom and intelligence and one who has lost his wisdom/intelligence loses
everything.
This is the basic mechanism that happens for everyone. How it gets
displayed varies depending on your personality.
2 Whenever you desire an object and get attached to it; you get angered
because you don’t possess it. How that anger gets displayed differs from
person to person. One who is physically strong and selfish direct the anger
outwards in violence. They prefer snatching it from others and keep getting
more and more violent with time until the violence totally consumes them.
3 One who is weak physically and emotionally directs the anger inwards.
They feel they’re not as good, they’re cursed, they’re inferior, etc. Their
anger is directed inwards, towards themselves only because they cannot win
if they direct the anger outwards.
4 One who is egoistic/proud directs the anger towards circumstances.
They cannot find others to be important enough to blame and cannot find
themselves to be weak enough to land in a bad situation. So they blame
destiny. They say it is an unfair world, or just bad luck that others have
something and they don’t. This anger, directed towards something invisible
is what is called as jealousy. You want what the other has, but because
something else (luck, destiny) landed you in a wrong position, there is
nothing you can do. You just keep cursing your luck and throw tantrum about
how others get more than they deserve. That is luck.
The commonality however, is that the mind is focused on results. Something
that others have and you don’t have.
5 So what does Krishna say about that?
yada samharate cayam, kurmo 'nganiva sarvasah;
indriyan indriyarthe bhyas, tasya prajna pratisthita;
Just like the turtle withdraws its hands and legs inside its shell at the
first sign of danger; so should a learned man immediately withdraw from the
senses as soon as he begins getting attached.
The fact of the matter is, if you’re driving, your eyes and mind need to be
on the road. If you’re walking, you need to be mindful of the next step. If
there is something completely irrelevant in your mind, you will definitely
fall.
6 Anything that you wish to possess, but which you neither have nor can
you use, is just a distraction from where you actually are and what you’re
doing. If you give attention to that thought, it’ll consume you. If you
don’t have a bungalow but you keep thinking about it, slowly that thought
will consume you. You’ll start judging yourself, pitying yourself, wanting
something etc.
So the Bhagavad Gita says, withdraw your mind the moment it begins to
wander.
7 And why exactly should you withdraw your mind from desires?
karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana
mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi
You only have the right to perform an action, not a right to the result you
get. So neither get attached to the results (which you have no claim over)
nor inaction.
8 Consequence of any action is dependent on a lot of factors. If you go
about cooking food, it depends on your skills. If you are skilled, it
depends on the recipe. If the recipe is good, it depends on the
ingredients. If the ingredients are there, it depends on how fresh they
are. If everything is fresh, it depends on what type of frying pan and
stove you have. If the frying pan and stove are perfect, it depends on you
being conscious and not distracted throughout the cooking process. If
you’re completely focused it still depends on how well you serve the food.
If you still serve it perfectly it depends on what mood the people eating
the food are in. If they’re in the perfect mood, a cat might come and just
throw the bowl over. Or an earthquake may make you evacuate without
serving. You may even just trip while serving.
9 Everything other than your actions are dependent on so many external
factors that almost anything can go wrong anytime. If you’re concerned
about results, sooner or later you’ll fail and be miserable. You might
develop anger, hatred, jealousy, inferiority and we’ll be back to square
one. So best not to tempt the devil.
10 And why should you avoid inaction? Well, you can just sit and
breathe for 60 years. Someday, you’ll need to do something. You’ll want to
go out, you’ll talk, you’ll want to eat. Action is the essence of life. You
can never move away from it.
11 So how is it that you can perform actions and give up the results?
sukha-duḥkhe same kṛitvā lābhā lābhau jayā jayau
tato yuddhāya yujyasva naivaṁ pāpam avāpsyasi
Treat happiness and sadness as the same. Treat victory and defeat as the
same. Treat gain and loss as the same. Thereafter, whatever you do can
never be a sin.
12 Sin is not an action, sin is a consequence. Killing, if done by a
judge in court, or a doctor in a hospital becomes a good action. If done by
a criminal, it becomes a sin. Sin is the state of acting without being in
total control of yourself. Because no man, in their right state of mind
will ever do anything sinful. If you know smoking is injurious to health
and you care for your health, you’ll simply don’t do it. If you like
smoking but you’re fine with cancer or dying early, you’ll not be miserable
or cry when you actually suffer a painful death. Sin happens when you spend
a life smoking and then cry as to why you got cancer.
13 When the result is not in your hand, why bother controlling it. The
best you can do is control your actions, and maybe that’ll bring you better
results. You can’t keep whining that you’re not smart enough, or rich
enough. What purpose does it serve? How does it help anyone if you’re being
jealous or miserable or feeling inferior? Does it change anything?
14 But maybe, just maybe, if you actually forget thinking about it, and
try to do something which you’re capable of, things may change.
Finally, how do you treat happiness and sadness as the same?
yajnarthat karmano 'nyatra, loko 'yam karma-bandhanah;
tad-artham karma kaunteya, mukta-sangah samacara;
Any action which is not undertaken as a sacrifice (or more specifically, as
yajna) binds the person to the world. And an action done as a sacrifice,
frees you from all shackles and bondage.
15 Sacrifice means anything done without expecting anything in return.
If you give a penny to a beggar, you don’t expect him to get rich. But if
you give a rupee to your son, you expect him to spend it wisely. If the
beggar uses that to start a business and become a millionaire, it doesn’t
bother you at all. If your son loses the coin, you lose your sleep over how
irresponsible your child is and what will happen to his future.
16 Whenever you have expectations, things would take a toll on your
body, mind and personality. If you’re happy about giving the coin, you’re
free. No matter what the person does with the coin, it isn’t your headache.
But if you give a coin and want the person to use it wisely, you’re
inviting trouble.
17 Shackles and bondage means all your pain, tension, anxiety, worries,
troubles, jealousy, anger, misery, fear, inferiority etc. etc. If you do
something and expect a result; you’ll get trapped. Because if someone gets
the same thing or more, without doing as much; it’ll bother you. You may
have a beautiful house, it may be perfect for you; but if someone builds a
bigger one, you will lose your sleep over it.
18 Any action, should be done for the joy of doing that action. If it
gives you good results, good; if it gives you bad results, hard luck. If
you like cooking, cook. If people like it, good; if they don’t, you at
least had a good time cooking. If you love cooking, the time you spent
cooking is never wasted. If you cooked to make others appreciate your food,
you’ll feel that you wasted hours for no cause if people don’t like your
food.
K Rajaram IRS 10225
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