i have had problems like this for long time but on 13.* and ram was absolutely tiny
problems seemed to appear when something mmapped files on zfs problem has puzzled me years and if i limit mmap, nothing fails. except if maybe the strange file errors in some memory pressure cases unrelated? some also had questionable similar issues just a while ago on Actual Servers (TM) same issue, processes get killed or in this case here, wired doesn't rapidly increase? also io speeds seem to affect stuff or i don't know what to think of this but problems described here also involve some mysterious memory usage in zfs. don't know
