Driving Along
=============
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted
to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically
asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"
"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."
Darwin Award Candidates
=======================
"The stupidity of the human race never fails to surprise me."
--Charles Darwin
(22 February 2000, New York) A man clearing timber from his lot in
Chestnuthill Township failed to notice that the tree he was working
on had others leaning against it. When the weight of its neighbors
pushed the tree over in the expected direction, the erstwhile
lumberjack ran for his life, but slipped in the icy snow and fell
directly in the path of the looming trunk, which landed on him with
the expected result.
(1 January 2000, Nevada) 26-year-old Tod made a place for himself in
history by being the first person to die celebrating the millennium.
Minutes before midnight, the Stanford graduate climbed to the top of
a street light in front of the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and waved to the
enthusiastic revelers below. At midnight he slipped and, in an effort
to break his fall, grabbed the wires that were supplying the
electricity to the street light. Suddenly he was conducting more than
a cheering crowd. A camera caught his foolhardy climb and subsequent
headfirst plunge to the concrete below. It has not yet been determined
whether he died from electrocution or from the 30-foot fall, but
either way, he deserves the first Darwin Award of the new millennium!
Footnote: Tod was a Stanford graduate working at a Silicon Valley
startup scheduled to go public in the summer. He stood to make a
substantial profit with his options, until they were voided by his
untimely death. Clearly, a sterling academic pedigree is no indication
of common sense. Before leaving to Vegas, one friend said, "People are
going to be doing crazy things. Be careful." Tod replied, "You know
I won't." Friends pondering his death said, "He thought he was
invincible." "He used to climb the Golden Gate Bridge." "He would
never do something stupid."
(11 March 2000, Perth, Australia) It just stands to reason, one
should follow safe practices while filming a safety video. But Peter,
the 52-year-old owner of a machinery and equipment training school,
violated that rule of common sense while filming a forklift safety
demonstration. With the cameras rolling, he was thrown from the cabin
of his forklift and crushed. Subsequent investigation revealed the
culprits responsible for the fatality: driver error and high speed
over varied terrain, coupled with an unused seat belt. His final
safety demonstration was the most convincing of his career.
March 24 in History . . .
* 1898 - 1st automobile sold
* 1958 - Elvis Presley joins the army (serial number 53310761)
--
John H. Hoffmann
Personal
E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"Be careful what you pretend to be, because
in the end, you are what you pretend to be."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
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