Sorry to prolong (and further degrade) this already overlong thread, but
somehow the one-upsmanship (or -downsmanship I suppose) about who has the
most primitive email environment reminded of the venerable item below. My
only excuse is that it's a Friday in May ...
- RL "Bob" (proud Pine user, of course)
---
WARNING: Nerd humor follows
>From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (GUNNAR HORRIGMO)
>Subject: Re: Help with XMS mailer on my Game-Boy?
>Date: Sun, 8 Nov 1992 18:53:02 GMT
>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Randy Wong) writes:
>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Steven Marcotte) writes:
>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Babak Gohari) writes:
>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Tilden-Master of Illogic) writes:
>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (David Lutz) writes:
>>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Daniel M Silevitch) writes:
>>>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Brat Wizard) writes:
>>>>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
>>>>>>>>>>Michael Schmahl [Black-Robe Mage] writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes
>>>>>>>>>>>>22161-bunz writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Brett G Person writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IronEagle writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Matt Welsh writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Right! I run System V on my VIC-20!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hmmmm...well, I am getting SVR4 for my HP 48SX.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HA! _I'm_ just finishing up a port of VMS for my Timex Sinclair!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Top THAT!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm running NextStep on Atari 2600 Video Game System.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Just last night I was able to get Windows to boot on my Sears PONG
>>>>>>>>>>>>>game.
>>>>>>>>>>>>I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my
>>>>>>>>>>>>Game-Boy.
>>>>>>>>>>>>I just installed a 10 Gigabyte Drive to handle all the replies!
>>>>>>>>>>>>However, it only runs at 230,000 Baud due to the large drive
>>>>>>>>>>>>slowing it down.
>>>>>>>>>>>I fear I will not be getting news any longer... The batteries on my
>>>>>>>>>>>calculator-watch are running out.
>>>>>>>>>>My calculator-watch is solar... And if I turned off the lights, NO
>>>>>>>>>>ONE would be getting news...
>>>>>>>>>Feh. I'm so slick NASA just awarded ME the TERADATA contract to run on
>>>>>>>>>my TV remote! They liked my proposal mainly because I'm ALSO able to
>>>>>>>>>shoehorn in the TEXAS SUPERCOLLIDER computations between commercials!
>>>>>>>>>Beat THAT!
>>>>>>>>Well, well, well. SSC calculations, huh. I built a system out of 2
>>>>>>>>inches of wire, 3 pennies and a AA battery that does realtime
>>>>>>>>calculations of particle vectors during the Big Bang. A complete
>>>>>>>>simulation of the first 2 years of the life of the universe, accurate
>>>>>>>>to the theoretical limit, takes about 5 seconds.
>>>>>>>And you guys think you are so great. I just spent the last half hour
>>>>>>>getting X11 to run on my slide rule. I am still having problems
>>>>>>>connecting it to the net around here, but I would welcome any
>>>>>>>suggestions.
>>>>>>So what!!! I'm running Xinitrc, TWMRC, Internet, and 27 muds off of a
>>>>>>paperclip. Not to mention the fact that I am designing a new form of
>>>>>>television with 7000 pixels based off a piece of tissue paper. Next!!!
>>>>>Man, that's baby stuff. I'm running a particle accelerator utilizing
>>>>>matter-antimatter reactions in my doorknob, and calculating everything in
>>>>>the fourth dimension using a single dip switch and a large glass of water.
>>>>Child's play, I have an old piece of cheese that is, at this very moment,
>>>>raytracing an actual model of the universe five hours from now, while
>>>>at the same time calculating the heat produced from the new intel
>>>>Pentium.
>>>And you people think that you are hackers! I'm currently engaged in a
>>>project which involves simultaneous simulation of multiple universes (To
>>>see what would happen if various constants change. Pi=8.4 is an interest-
>>>ing one.) My hardware consists of a single wooden pencil (no paper). With
>>>it, I can do real-time simulations of 2^32 universes in parallel.
>>You guys are wimps!! I've just finished converting a microwave oven into a
>>paradimensional teleportation device. The only problem I'm having so far is
>>that my breakfast bagel keeps disappearing!! May have to eat it raw . . .
>Sorry, that's my fault. I'm afraid that the high-energy laser-pumped
>negentropic vortex generator I made from my own nostril hair, which is
>currently cranking out entire new universes at the rate of 7.6 per picosecond,
>was breaking the FCC emissions limits and gronking your microwave's control
>panel. It should work properly now. Also, my cat Arthur was FTPing hundreds
>of terabytes of PD software from Epsilon Eridani in the year 4741 A.D. over
>the faster-than-light Ethernet interface I built for him, and this may have
>been loading the Net a little yesterday. My sincere apologies to everyone who
>noticed any performance degradation.
Damn, I thought I was doin' some really advanced R&D. But I only have a
humble feather pen with built in spell checking. It checks all languages
since Adam & Eve plus a few forthcoming languages. But after what I've seen
here, that's not good enough for a Nobel Prize..I have to work harder...
Maybe some of the languages from outer space will help ?? I just have to
use my FingerNail Time&Universe Transporter(tm) to get there and learn them.
