On Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 06:58:53AM -0700, joeygartin wrote: > Their inner sorrow is projected out in a form of rage and that usually > (hopefully) only comes out as rude, curt and inpatient.
That's a common misperception. <http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html#keepcool> >> ## Dealing with rudeness ## >> >> Much of what looks like rudeness in hacker circles is not intended to >> give offense. Rather, it's the product of the direct, >> cut-through-the-bullshit communications style that is natural to >> people who are more concerned about solving problems than making >> others feel warm and fuzzy. >> >> When you perceive rudeness, try to react calmly. If someone is really >> acting out, it is very likely a senior person on the list or >> newsgroup or forum will call him or her on it. If that doesn't happen >> and you lose your temper, it is likely that the person you lose it at >> was behaving within the hacker community's norms and you will be >> considered at fault. This will hurt your chances of getting the >> information or help you want. >> >> On the other hand, you will occasionally run across rudeness and >> posturing that is quite gratuitous. The flip-side of the above is >> that it is acceptable form to slam real offenders quite hard, >> dissecting their misbehavior with a sharp verbal scalpel. Be very, >> very sure of your ground before you try this, however. The line >> between correcting an incivility and starting a pointless flamewar is >> thin enough that hackers themselves not infrequently blunder across >> it; if you are a newbie or an outsider, your chances of avoiding such >> a blunder are low. If you're after information rather than >> entertainment, it's better to keep your fingers off the keyboard than >> to risk this. >> >> (Some people assert that many hackers have a mild form of autism or >> Asperger's Syndrome, and are actually missing some of the brain >> circuitry that lubricates "normal" human social interaction. This may >> or may not be true. If you are not a hacker yourself, it may help you >> cope with our eccentricities if you think of us as being >> brain-damaged. Go right ahead. We won't care; we like being whatever >> it is we are, and generally have a healthy skepticism about clinical >> labels.) >> >> In the next section, we'll talk about a different issue; the kind of >> "rudeness" you'll see when you misbehave. >> >> >> ## On Not Reacting Like A Loser ## >> >> Odds are you'll screw up a few times on hacker community forums -- in >> ways detailed in this article, or similar. And you'll be told exactly >> how you screwed up, possibly with colourful asides. In public. >> >> When this happens, the worst thing you can do is whine about the >> experience, claim to have been verbally assaulted, demand apologies, >> scream, hold your breath, threaten lawsuits, complain to people's >> employers, leave the toilet seat up, etc. Instead, here's what you >> do: >> >> Get over it. It's normal. In fact, it's healthy and appropriate. >> >> Community standards do not maintain themselves: They're maintained by >> people actively applying them, visibly, in public. Don't whine that >> all criticism should have been conveyed via private e-mail: That's >> not how it works. Nor is it useful to insist you've been personally >> insulted when someone comments that one of your claims was wrong, or >> that his views differ. Those are loser attitudes. >> >> There have been hacker forums where, out of some misguided sense of >> hyper-courtesy, participants are banned from posting any >> fault-finding with another's posts, and told "Don't say anything if >> you're unwilling to help the user." The resulting departure of >> clueful participants to elsewhere causes them to descend into >> meaningless babble and become useless as technical forums. >> >> Exaggeratedly "friendly" (in that fashion) or useful: Pick one. >> >> Remember: When that hacker tells you that you've screwed up, and (no >> matter how gruffly) tells you not to do it again, he's acting out of >> concern for (1) you and (2) his community. It would be much easier >> for him to ignore you and filter you out of his life. If you can't >> manage to be grateful, at least have a little dignity, don't whine, >> and don't expect to be treated like a fragile doll just because >> you're a newcomer with a theatrically hypersensitive soul and >> delusions of entitlement. >> >> Sometimes people will attack you personally, flame without an >> apparent reason, etc., even if you don't screw up (or have only >> screwed up in their imagination). In this case, complaining is the >> way to really screw up. >> >> These flamers are either lamers who don't have a clue but believe >> themselves to be experts, or would-be psychologists testing whether >> you'll screw up. The other readers either ignore them, or find ways >> to deal with them on their own. The flamers' behavior creates >> problems for themselves, which don't have to concern you. >> >> Don't let yourself be drawn into a flamewar, either. Most flames are >> best ignored -- after you've checked whether they are really flames, >> not pointers to the ways in which you have screwed up, and not >> cleverly ciphered answers to your real question (this happens as >> well). -- Phil Mocek --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Django users" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/django-users?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
