I sympathise with your frustrations. The open source "community" - especially Debian - is not known for its civility. There have been numerous articles (and backlashes) identifying the rampant misogyny, racism, arrogance, murder and general rudeness amongst its members and leaders. If you're expecting a well-governed organisation with a robust, even-handed and consistent method for handling problems, your princess is in another castle.
Unfortunately, the old economic principle "You get what you pay for" applies. People who are good at what they do charge good rates and are in too high demand to deal with us plebs for free. As in any volunteer organisation, positions attract people with way too much free time and whose opinions of themselves (including their legal scholarship) exceeds their abilities. It's pretty tribal. I'm speaking very broadly here and not in reference to anybody in particular, but I have numerous incidents from the past 20 years in mind. Many newcomers to open source are encouraged to read Eric Raymond's "How to ask questions the smart way" which is a rambling manifesto that establishes the caste system of project managers at the top and newcomers at the bottom. Contributors are to be worshipped as gods, and we must be grateful to them when they down from Nirvana to educate us. Perhaps some day, if it hasn't been done already, I'll work on "How to answer questions the smart way" since communication is a three-step process and, as you can tell from many of the responses to your concerns, many contributors don't feel they owe anything to the users. Again. You get what you pay for. My point is that all three points in the process - asker, responder and communication medium - have a role to play in building and nurturing a community. But too much emphasis in the open source world overly faults the newcomers and gives veterans too much power. As others have suggested, I'd recommend wrapping yourself in some anonymity if you're worried about slander and/or reprisal. That's why I opened a Tutanota account.
