I got this off http://www.polyester.net and thought it was funny, sorry for
the spam :-)
ATT VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great
service you are
getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too
much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not
horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN;
twice, if by
C:
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a
"virus", but
instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."
RIGHT-TO-LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file,
regardless of how
young it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to
first
see a counselor about possible alternatives.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays
resident. It'll be
back.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all
your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into
hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of
which claim to
be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose
30 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5
percent margin of
error).
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it is bigger than any other
file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your
Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, and the
screen splits in
half with the same message appearing on each side of the
screen. The
message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by
the other
side.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is
in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with
marrying its own
motherboard.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy, then
self
destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service
stations
across rural America.
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new
cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found
again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an
act of mercy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no
virus has gone
before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds
nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.
And my personal favorite..
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask
for money.
--
Ben Lutgens http://cybercreep.mosquitonet.com icq#10836629
"There are two things that are infinite; Human stupidity and the
universe. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
