Hi girls, I really enjoyed Pete Templin's message about OS brews and, since it didn't mention Linux in particular, I thought you folks would relate better to this one... Sincere apologies for loading this otherwise serious list with another joke but I think the Linux bit really gets to the point. ;)
-- Papy-EFB -------------------------------------------------------------------- Peg: "What are you thinking?" Al : "If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking instead of thinking." --------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Mike Werner/Marketing/Paris/SITA/WW (09/13/96) Category: Other Subject: If Airlines were run like operating systems Straight from the 'Net': DOS Air Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hits the ground. They grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, jump off... Mac Airways The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, talk the same, and act the same. When you ask them questions about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie. Windows Airlines The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants courteous, the pilots capable. The fleet of Lear jets the carrier operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushes above the clouds, and, at 20,000 feet, explodes without warning. OS/2 Skyways The terminal is almost empty - only a few prospective passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just departed, although no planes appear to be on the runway. Airline personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside. They tell each passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe longer. Fly Windows NT Passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac and place them in the outline of a plane. They sit down, flap their arms, and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying. UNIX Express Passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing about what kind of plane they want to build. The passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft but give them all the same name. Only some passengers reach their destinations, but all of them believe they arrived. VMS Virtual Mobile Syndicate A large black jet whick looks like something Darth Vader would fly on weekends. No one is allowed to look under the hood. The plane is unresponsive, moves and steers like a cow. All controls come with preset defaults, most of which are unchangeable. The operating instructions for the plane occupy its own hanger. IBM's OS/360 Air Tram A group of engineers led by Fred Brooks walk out on the runway and start assembling a plane. As the departure time approaches, more engineers are added to the plane's construction but assembly is only slower than before. By the time the plane is fully assembled, a new mode of propulsion has been invented. The greatest contribution of the OS/360 Air Tram is the inflight magazine, "The Mythical Man Monthly". Linux People's Express A single passenger from the Unix Express wanders over to his own portion of the runway and starts to assemble his own plane. As the plane gets closer to completion, other passengers leave Unix Express to help him with assembly. A small, sleek, responsive plane is finally built. However, before each flight, a group of engineers yank parts from the plane and replace them with the latest and greatest components. A new engine is available weekly. Planes from Linux's "People's Express" are available through mail order kits. (Some assemble required.)
