In pure frustration I unplugged all cables and repluggend them, with hub, fully connected... and the damn thing worked.
That would seem to point to autonegotiation problems. This is a weak point in many linux ethernet drivers. If this keeps happening and you want to avoid this problem in the future, you can force the port speed with mii-tool (see the net-tools pkg) or recompile kernel (or module) with the port speed hardcoded.
Also IIRC your particular ethernet ASIC, the Realtek rtl8139 has many flavors and there are several options in recent kernels to choose from. You may have one of the broken or oddball versions.
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