![]()
If you are going through hell, keep going. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone. In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone. In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. Hatch a dream and then believe it. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. A clever man commits no minor blunders. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. The best proof of love is trust. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Luck is the residue of design. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Hatch a dream and then believe it. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. Dancing is silent poetry. If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket? 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? When ideas fail, words come in very handy. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
|
