As expected the problem is something about the interaction with the debian nvidia software, gdm, and my laptop. I have found a workaround.
I did # apt-get remove *nvidia* And the configuration went back to the nouveau drivers, and the problem went away. The laptop isn't a gaming machine so I don't mind lack of graphics acceleration. But losing CUDA parallel processing is a real problem for me. Anyway, I've got something that works. Next up, I'll switch to cinnamon and see if I'm allowed to get CUDA working with that. Bear
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