myr wrote:
>> The text could also do with some general proofreading, but I'm not
>> sure if the version I get from "apt-get source" is up-to-date. For
>> instance, there's a use of "he" in kernel.sgml, but it occurs in a
>> sentence about /usr/sbin/modconf, which hasn't existed since Squeeze!
>
> The sources I'm using come from
> svn://svn.debian.org/svn/ddp/manuals/trunk/debian-faq/
> and the kernel.sgml that I have does not contain any instance of 'he'.
> It is dated 3rd of April 2008: is yours an older version?
Same version, but I was misreporting the regexp that matched;
kernel.sgml lines 45-6 have
prompting the user for particulars on the loadable device drivers
in his system. The responses are used to customize the file
^^^
Except that now my eyes drift to the previous paragraph, which talks
about the boot-floppies package, last seen in... what, Potato? There
are some intimidating cobwebs in here.
> Index: pkg_basics.sgml
> ===================================================================
> --- pkg_basics.sgml (revision 10421)
> +++ pkg_basics.sgml (working copy)
[...]
> package <tt>foo</tt> once <tt>foo</tt> has been unpacked from its Debian
> archive (".deb") file. Often, 'postinst' scripts ask the user for input,
> - and/or warn the user that if he accepts default values, he should remember
> + and/or warn the users that if they accepted default values, they should
> remember
Make that
archive (".deb") file. Often, 'postinst' scripts ask users for input,
and/or warn them that if they accept default values, they should remember
> to go back and re-configure that package as the situation warrants.
> Many 'postinst' scripts then execute any commands necessary to start or
> restart a service once a new package has been installed or upgraded.
[...]
>
> <p>Their meanings are:
> <list>
> - <item>unknown - the user has never indicated whether he wants the package
> - <item>install - the user wants the package installed or upgraded
> - <item>remove - the user wants the package removed, but does not want to
> + <item>unknown - users have never indicated whether they want the package
> + <item>install - users want the package installed or upgraded
> + <item>remove - users want the package removed, but do not want to
I don't think this works (it sounds as if the users on any given
machine decide things like this communally). Instead, just change the
first one to
<item>unknown - the user has never indicated whether the package is wanted
[...]
> - <item>hold - the user wants this package not to be processed, i.e., he
> - wants to keep the current version with the current status whatever that
> is.
> + <item>hold - users want this package not to be processed, i.e., they
> + want to keep the current version with the current status whatever that
> is.
Try:
<item>hold - the user wants this package not to be processed, or in
other words
wants to keep the current version with the current status whatever that
is.
[...]
> <list>
> - <item>guide the user as he/she chooses among packages to install or remove,
> + <item>guide the users as they choose among packages to install or remove,
> ensuring that no packages are installed that conflict with one another,
> and that all packages required to make each package work properly are
> installed;
> - <item>warn the user about inconsistencies or incompatibilities in their
> + <item>warn the users about inconsistencies or incompatibilities in their
> selections;
> <item>determine the order in which the packages must be installed;
> <item>automatically perform the installation or removal; and
> - <item>guide the user through whatever configuration process are required
> + <item>guide the users through whatever configuration process are required
> for each package.
These are all okay-ish, but would be more idiomatic if you dropped the
article - that is, s/the user/users/. Wait... is this is talking
about dselect?
> <item><strong/Select/ specific packages for installation on his system.
^^^
You missed one here! Tricky, but "on the system" would do.
> After choosing this menu item, the user is first presented with a full
> screen of help (unless the `--expert' command line option was used).
> - Once the user exits the Help screen, he sees the split-screen menu for
> + Once exiting the Help screen, a user sees the split-screen menu for
> choosing packages to install (or remove).
Oh, a good idea, but you can't do it with "once", and you can't turn
"the" user (definite in the previous sentence) into "a" user. It
would work as:
On exiting the Help screen, the user sees the split-screen menu for
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
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