Oh, we LOVE cute. But only if it describes our female significant other. Not the stuff they buy us or expect us to wear/use.
Rick On Fri, Dec 12, 2008 at 4:00 PM, Deborah J Brown <[email protected]>wrote: > ** I got my man X-mas (ie. read & green) plaid duct tape from L.L.Bean > last year for christmas and he has never used it. In fact I think he hid it > somewhere so I can't use it either. > I guess plaid duct tape just isn't manly. I thought it was cute. > > But then men don't like cute, do they? > > > -------------- Original message -------------- > From: Gidd <[email protected]> > ** *Gifts for Men* > > Christmas is just around the corner so it's time for me to share some gift > ideas for those special men in your life! Buying gifts for men is not nearly > as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no > problems. > > Rule #1: > When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already > has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, > you can never have too many cordless drills. For that matter any power tool > is a good choice. He may not need it, or know what it does, but it will look > good hung on the peg board in the garage. > > Rule #2: > If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word > ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I > borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch > socket yet?" > > Rule #3: > If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent > ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear > view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. > > Rule #4: > Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties and never buy men bathrobes. If > God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey > shorts. > > Rule #5: > You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. > If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little > picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. > > Rule #6: > Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a > cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. > > Rule #7: > Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. > We do not stink - we are earthy. > > Rule #8: > Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of > weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. > Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. > > Rule #9: > Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It > will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. > > Rule #10: > Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home > Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts > and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't > matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something > I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.") > > Rule #11: > Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get > him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line > leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?" > > Rule #12: > Tickets to a professional sports game (any team within 300 miles) are a > smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of > 19th Century Quilts." > > Rule #13: > Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you > don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a > label maker. > > Rule #14: > It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension > ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. > > Rule #15: > Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least > The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. > > Rule #16: > Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip clamps. No one knows why > > Rule #17: > Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most universal repair tool. All men > know, if you can't fix it, duct it. > > > > > > __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are" > html___ > > __Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are" > html___ _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org Platinum Sponsor: www.rmsportal.com ARSlist: "Where the Answers Are"
