"The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention,
with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
---
Bug report form
Describe your problem:
__________________________________________
Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________
Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
Problem Severity:
Minor __
Minor __
Minor __
Trivial __
Nature of the problem:
Locked up __
Frozen __
Hung __
Shot __
Is your computer plugged in? Yes __ No __
Is it turned on? Yes __ No __
Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __
Have you made it worse? Yes __
Have you read the manual? Yes __ No __
Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes __ No __
Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No __
Do you think you understood it? Yes __ No __
If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
__________________________________________
How tall are you? Are you above this line?
__________________
What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________
If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________
Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes __ No __
How does this problem make you feel?
__________________________________________
Tell me about your childhood.
__________________________________________
Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes __ No __
Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes __
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What is said ......
A number of different approaches are being tried.
An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem.
Developed after years of intensive research.
Modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties.
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
Test results were extremely gratifying.
The design will be finalized in the next reporting period.
The entire concept is unworkable.
We need close project coordination.
What it means .....
We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.
We just hired three guys... We'll let them kick it around for a while.
It was discovered by accident.
We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
It works, and boy are we surprised !
We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.
The only guy who understood the thing just quit.
We should have asked someone else.
Alternate: Let's spread the responsibility for this.
_______________________________________________________________________________
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