RANDOM THOUGHTS
Forgot Password?
Creating a web account is no big deal. Can someone say keeping track of
passwords is as easy as that, asks Indu Balachandran
Last week, someone asked me for my mobile phone number. A mild panic set
in. "Give me yours, I'll give you a missed call." I said. But that cruel person
caught on. "Aha! Forgotten your own number, have you? It happens, it happens."
Well the reason why numbers are refusing to stay in my head any more is because
they have been slowly edged out of their residence in the left side of my
cranium by a number of intruders, and these intruders are called Passwords.
There are so many of them jostling for space, all yelling Remember me! Remember
me! that I am wondering where to go and get extra RAM space in my brain.
Only then will I ever keep track of my Yahoo password, my ATM password, my
online railway booking password, my Credit Card protected password , my Cheap
Airline Ticket password, my Movie Ticket Booking password, my Theatre Club
password, my Investments Portfolio password, and not forgetting, my dead pet
cat's name. Some sites even ask you for that.
Those days
When computers first entered our lives, it was all so different: I had only one
password to let me into the exciting cyber-world. It was so easy to remember
(perhaps because my password was ingeniously called PASSWORD). Those eight
letters would magically gain me entry to my mail. Soon I kept the very same
password for every new website I discovered.
But a geek pal of mine was horrified that I had a password called PASSWORD in
the first place. What a ridiculous thing! Even a moron could hack into that,
change it at once!!
So I picked a good four-letter word. (The word in fact was GOOD, not what you
just thought of). But suddenly, those stern doormen at these gates of entry
got annoying. "Your password must have at least 2 numerals" said one. Oh no! So
I decided to do some numerology to see which numbers I could choose. I
went to a Numerology website for this, but first I had to enrol. And guess what
it asked for? Yes, that's right.
Fed up of always hitting the "Forgot Password?" button to get anywhere,
I decided one day that there'd be no more fancy passwords for me. My name would
be my password.
So under "Type your new Password here" I put my own name.
A rude red message started flashing immediately: "TOO OBVIOUS!"
These cyber-doormen who check our passwords were getting increasingly
judgemental, even cheeky.
So I randomly looked around, and picked a name from the TIME cover lying next
to me. "OBAMA" I typed. "TOO WEAK!" was the prompt response. Obama? Weak?
The American people were not going to like that.
Ok then, how about just GOD. "Too short!" it said. I tried to make that OH-GOD,
exactly what I had just exclaimed. "Try something better!" said the mean
message again. Now who could be better than God?
This went on and on, till I finally made up a very rare combination of letters
and numbers in a secret mystifying code that even Dan Brown would have gone
crazy trying to crack.
"You did it! CONGRATS. Your Password has been successfully CHANGED!" flashed on
my screen. I was flush with triumph. There was even a sweet smiley button
on the screen that winked at me twice.
The trouble is: with all that exhilaration of getting it right at last, I
forgot to write down this amazing password I had just invented. So I've got to
hit "Forgot Password?" and start all over again. But forgetting a password can
be useful sometimes.
I was overjoyed at an email I received once from a certain ISSAKA BANGU from
Nigeria, promising me $4,000,000,00 from an African bank , just by giving him
my Bank Account and Password. I suddenly couldn't remember what it was, in all
my excitement.
And that story has a happy ending; I wasn't rendered bankrupt by day's end.
But I am sure I am better than my pal Tina with this password thing in
computers. And when Tina can't figure out something she never hesitates to ask
Customer
Care for help. This is what happened to her:
Customer Care: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Tina: The smiling picture of me next to the Pyramids in Egypt.
Customer Care: Er, well, what I meant is: what stage are you in logging into
the internet?
Tina: I typed in a Password but nothing happened.
Customer Care: Are you sure you used the right password?
Tina: Yes, I'm sure. I did exactly what I've seen all my colleagues do.
Customer Care: Can you tell me what password you typed in?
Tina: Sure. Six dots.
Meanwhile, I must tell my pal Tina that she and I are not alone in our
confusion over Passwords. Here's what I read about this woman who was asked why
she
had such a long password:
mickeydonaldtomjerrylaurelhardylondon.
Apparently she was merely following that website's clear instructions : "The
password must contain at least six characters and one capital."
Indu Balachandran is a Travel and Humour columnist. Email: [email protected]
http://www.hindu.com/mag/2011/01/23/stories/2011012350200500.htm
When you feel afraid or nervous to do a thing then do it because the real harm
which you may thus receive is less poignant than its expectation and fear.
Easy tips of improving English at
http://shadablucknow.blogspot.com/
Shadab Husain interviews Dan Bloom
http://shdb101.blogspot.com/
My contributions to the press
http://shadablucknow.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-contributions-to-press.html#link
